Fidget said:
Hey Jennifervb, that's an awesome post as far as understanding what's going on with LA's brother and how it affects the family. And offering insight and good suggestions for dealing with both his behaviour and their own pain & frustration. I've never seen a textbook do better and i've read plenty.
LA, I know you are are in the midst of 'having to fix it' but I hope you can read and reread what Jennifervb said and know that you are not your brother, and he is your responsibility when it comes to family stuff, but when it comes to the rattie stuff he is not your responsibility.
Can you send info to your rattie friends and the ex when you hear it? Off your shoulders and onto theirs? But make this the one rescue situation you are not allowed to rescue ratties from.
Give his email address to your most trustied rattie allies so they can send him the info on the sites and breeding and stuff and try to befriend him and reason with him? They couldn't have worse hope of being heard than a sister who is looking righteous making him look otherwise in his mind.
Thanks Fidget, :hugs: :love6:
I've been down a long and winding road with people and I've seen a great deal. I have always had too level a head but have seen the grief which depression and illness can inflict on family, friends and loved ones. It is a harsh world.
As far as bipolar disorder is concerned; I am no medical doctor. I have only been a witness to what can result from it for both the patient and the family. We (our group of friends) had a friend, in High School, who suffered under severe depression. I did not know his parents very well, but had the information that they tended to distance themselves from such issues and were not supportive. They made it clear, to all their 3 children, that they would have to leave home when they turned 18 and they were provided with no form of support, neither monetary or emotional.
Our friend was a "silent type" depressive. He never shared what he was feeling and never seemed to accept any advice from those of us who could see when he was depressed. He shot himself through the head when he was 19. I couldn't bring myself to go to the funeral because I could not promise not to take his parents to task. I felt that they were solely responsible for Joe's death and that left me feeling awful. I couldn't figure out why I was feeling guilty so I tried to analyse my feelings.
I came to the conclusion that Joe's parents were victims too. They did not have the resources to deal with his severe depressions and, in the end, the lapse in judgement cost them one of the most kind-hearted and talented people imaginable.
I can relate to Le-Andra because I have a pretty good idea how she may be feeling. It must be even harder for her because the man in question is a member of her family. Joe was only my friend and I still feel miserable when I think of him. I just wish there had been someone there to share their experiences and advice with Joe and his family. Maybe he would still be here and be the star author he dreamed of being. :tearful:
If anything I've experienced can help someone to avoid such a scenario, as the one I have shared here, then I take comfort in knowing that Joe's suicide was not completely in vain. :rose: :heart: