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Melissa

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2007
Messages
3,688
Location
Savannah, GA
Some people may be aware I have anxiety/adhd. I was put on a low dose of meds and told to see a shrink. I took the meds but never saw anyone because I thought things were getting better. I wasn't procrastinating, forgetting thngs, being untidy, took exceptional care of my pets and stopped starting petty arguments with my bf. I was happy with my life and work.

Now it's all changing. I feel it spiralling downward and don't know what to do. I hate to admit it, but I think I need to have less responsibility. I can't seem to take it all of a sudden. I feel like I'm in a hole and I can't dig out of it. I'm depressed about money, my job (not having a skillset), my place in life. I want to go back to school and learn an actual skill set.

I feel so useless and I feel like crap. I'm giving up on the ones I love (my family, bf and pets).

Ps. This was very hard to admit, but I needed to let it out somewhere and this was the only place I could think of wanting to.
 
I think it would be time to see that shrink. He/she will be able to help you cope/handle every day life.

I can tell you, I too get those panic surges where I feel like I just can't do it anymore. I want to just crawl under a rock and stay there forever.

You might need a med adjustment... get help before quitting. :grouphug2:
 
Sweetie. :hugs:

One important factor in anxiety and depression is that is progresses in a natural up and down wave. There is controversy about using drugs because anxiety and depression naturally ebb down on their own over time, and there is evidence that drugs are more of a placebo effect rather than actually making a difference.
I have had anxiety and depression since I was about 12 years old. It reached a rock bottem low when I was 17 and stayed that way for another two years. I almost didn't graduate, lost every one of my friends, and engaged in lots of self destructive behaivior and didn't care if I was risking my life or not.
It has gotten much better, through no help of medication or psychiatry, but only because I finally found the understanding and support I really needed. Not from a shrink, but from a true friend.
There is a reason why we succumb to anxietys and depression. For me, it was my bad childhood and teenage years, combined with continually being betrayed by people I trusted, and as I got older, my bleak outlook on society and humanity in general, and feeling very much alone.
Sometimes the people you love do just not understand what you are going through. I had a boyfirend who said "if you know somethings wrong with you, why don't you just fix it? Get over it." :roll:
"Get over it" is one of the dumbest things a person can say. It fuels problems. You think "why can't I get over it" and then you just feel even worse about yourself.
I agree that less responsibility can help. Stress feuls anxiety. I don't believe in "just dealing with it". If you can make a situation less stressful for yourself, than do. Because by releasing stress, it heals the mind and then later on you can cope with stress better. You just need time.
And you need to not feel guilty about needing time, or needing less responibilty, as hard as that is, I know.
What truly helped me was finding someone who just understood and accepted my problem. If I have a bad day, I can vent and cry and curse and he'll listen, and just let me be. I hate it when people give me that Dr. Phill crap. I just need to not be judged and to be understood, and I'll feel better eventually. A good cry with someone who will be there for you is the most healing thing ever.
Whatever is causing your anxiety will most likely always be there, lurking around the corner. And it honestly just takes time, and sometimes it takes a lot of time, more time than you'd like.
Judging from experience, I suspect that encouraging words won't be very helpful at making you feel better at the moment. I just wanted to let you that I understand what you are going through and to share my experience with you. However, if you are rolling your eyes at the mushiness, that's okay too. :D
 
Aw ((((Melissa))))

I am going through the same thing with Waynes sister Crystal. From the age of 5 the family knew something wasn't right. At age 8 her mom went to the doctors to ask for help, he said she would grow out of it. She constantly went back to the doctor and he said he wouldn't medicate her and she would grow out of it. She was diagnosed with dyslexia and ADD. You would look at her the wrong way and she would start to scream and yell and swear. It was terrible. This went on until just before her 18th birthday. She was given medication Paxil and it made her better... for a while. She was on 10mg. Then she got worse, they raised the dose to 20mg. She went back into the doctors and they told her she had something teenage to 20 something males get... Irritable Male Syndrome and she would have to learn to deal with it and she would grow out of it. I was so mad. That was crap. I told the family to keep pushing. She went back into the doctors millions of times and the doctor kept telling her she would grow out of it and she would just have to learn how to deal. Things got really bad, she got mad in the car once and tried to jump out of the car, fortunately the child locks were on the door, she tried to get to the steering wheel and almost flipped the car. These are the types of things. Finally she went to the Mental Health Center Outpatients and I went with her. She was told she was mood swings, behavioural problems and depression. They are going to get her to see someone and help her learn the tools to fix her life. She doesn't do anything, she sleeps all day.

The two of us have had yelling matches as I try and make her feel better or get motivated and she and I just get into a fight. I have had to just leave her alone and not really ignore her but kinda like that. Which doesn't help.

I would suggest, don't stop pushing, go see someone, I have been to a psychiatrist before and she was wonderful. Also tell Jordan to not stop fighting for you if doctors tell you get over it or learn how to deal with it. How can you do that when you don't have the tools to deal. Also maybe see if adjusting your medication might help. And if there are any groups that Jordan can go to maybe to help you with or to someone who can help him help you. If he understands then it's all the better.

DON'T GIVE UP!!!!

Oh yeah and we are here for you. :grouphug:
 
If you're at all concerned about the money part of seeing someone, psychotherapists (not to be confused with psychologists) are covered by OHIP. I can help you find one near you, I have a phone number that you can call which helps connect you to doctors in your area. PM me if you're interested.

(Mike's grandfather runs a psychotherapy clinic.. my mother in law works there and I did filing there for a while)
 
Me and Jordan have decided that I look for new homes for my hamster and guinea pigs. I may have someone taking Zim already.

I'm so sad. I didn't want it to get to this. I know I can do better, I just don't know how to make it work anymore. :tearful:
 
Oh no, what a tough decision to make :( I hope everything will work out for you. :hugs: I'm going through a rough patch, and having family and friends to help you out are the best possible things.
 
Ugh, I have had people contact me to get the pets for their kids... so I grill them with questions in the email. Even, if I do find someone, I don't know if I can give them up. I know I will take good care of them.
 
I believe I understand how you are feeling. I have great trouble dealing with too much at a time, it causes anxiety & exhaustion and that causes me to be even less able to deal with things, and that causes me to feel like a failure and that causes anxiety & hopelessness, etc, etc.
It snowballs. Something has to stop it, and that means taking a rest from whatever I can. Things do turn around after I'm able to stop the cycle and recharge.
Fortunately I don't have a job or relationship so I don't have to put them first. My energies can go to my ratties alone.
Make sure if you have to give something up it is the things that bring your stress, not the things that give you comfort. Be very careful about letting your pets go, you will get better and the things you gave up will be gone.
Maybe getting some therapy should be the first step - Sometimes just acquiring that outlet can be a help in itself. And therapy is not to fix you, it is to help you to define your needs.

My heart goes out to you.
 
Fidget said:
I believe I understand how you are feeling. I have great trouble dealing with too much at a time, it causes anxiety & exhaustion and that causes me to be even less able to deal with things, and that causes me to feel like a failure and that causes anxiety & hopelessness, etc, etc.
It snowballs. Something has to stop it, and that means taking a rest from whatever I can. Things do turn around after I'm able to stop the cycle and recharge.
Fortunately I don't have a job or relationship so I don't have to put them first. My energies can go to my ratties alone.
Make sure if you have to give something up it is the things that bring your stress, not the things that give you comfort. Be very careful about letting your pets go, you will get better and the things you gave up will be gone.
Maybe getting some therapy should be the first step - Sometimes just acquiring that outlet can be a help in itself. And therapy is not to fix you, it is to help you to define your needs.

My heart goes out to you.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much everyone. I really appreciate these kind words and it means so much.

I have the time, the energy, everything to keep my life is order, but I end up just sitting here. I very often lack the motivation. It's a horrible cycle that goes up and down. It was up for quite a long time... oi.

I get depressed because Jordan has more money then me, savings, a great family, a better job, and goals. He knows what he is doing with his life. I'm the complete opposite. It really sucks. I can't stick to something long enough to even considering setting goals.
 
Hi Melissa,
I know where you are coming from, and feeling overwhelmed and depressed is awful. Paxil wasn't a good drug for me, and it varies from person to person on how well they react. I believe 20mg is the average persons dosage, but you can always research the other drugs available and talk to your doctor.
Therapy is a great idea, especially if you can find someone you can work with. Problems can't just be medicated away and therapy is supposed to help you understand the triggers and causes in your life that are holding you back.
If your feeling stressed out I can make a suggestion I was told that helps me. Make sure you have a stress free area in your home, a place with no distractions, pets, photos, etc. Just a place to relax, maybe meditate or journal if you do that, or even listen to music. This is for when you feel overwhelmed and you just need some time to hide. You may want to look into Self Soothing techniques. These are ways to bring your anxiety down by yourself and can include aromatherapy, smooth objects, soft materials that you can hold, focus on while concentrating on breathing and block out everything else. Being "mindful" like this can reduce your stress of the moment.
When dealing with stress and anxiety I also find time management helps a lot. If you can organize your day so you are getting everything you need (proper meals, sleep, work, and down time). Schedule time every day for YOU, and try and do something nice for yourself each week. Maybe walk in your favorite park, or plan a long bubble bath with a good trashy book, watch a movie you like. Pets are great but they are also a responsibility, so schedule pet time separately from you time. We love them but I know how they can also be stressful sometimes. I agree with Fidget about making sure giving up the pets will help first, if so then do what you need to and don't let yourself feel guilty at all. Your doing your best to find them a good home and when you do you can take comfort in that. I gave up my ferrets once to a friend, and it was a mistake but I was feeling overwhelmed. Luckily she was a friend so I was able to get Bear back! This was several years ago and I am glad I avoided that near catastrophe.
Don't loose touch with the people who care about you, spend time each week touching base, it will make you feel more connected.
I think from the responses you have gotten here it shows these people can sympathize with you, so keep posting where ever you can find support!
(hugs!)
 
You guys are so great, I'm running out of words, it is often hard for me to explain myself. Thanks so much.

I feel horrible, I just re-homed Zim my hamster. :missu:

I have been cleaning since I got home, so that is good.

I can't wait to go to Maine this Saturday for a week and have a nice relaxing time.
 
I fully belive that even the most dedicated people can find themselves overwhelmed, and unless you work from home, pets can become a lot of work (especially when we're talking about multiple "pocket pets")

If you know you're stretching yourself too thin, you're probably doing the right thing letting invader Zim go to someone who has a bit more time. I know I would have a lot of trouble finding time for anything outside of my ratties and dogs.
 
If you were looking for the "easy way" you would not be here with us, as we are the most likely to give you a hard time.
 

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