Anxiety?

[Bronwyn]

Same here... and whatever you learn, pass it on here.

Well, I don't know how useful this is, but I'll pass it along anyway. This therapist worked with me when I was sixteen, up until I turned eighteen and was well enough to live a pretty normal life. One's supposed to "maintain" their healthy state by seeing other therapists/counsellors (I moved - went to university!) which I did but they were all pretty clueless, so I've returned to her as I'm conveniently back in Toronto for the summer.

Anyway! Because she's seen me for so long, I think she's using the harsh method now. Or she got bitter as she got older. I like structure, and I know the tools to battle this thing. So really all that's needed is for me to be taught how to apply them again.

Homework!
Day 1: Walk one block with the dog, twice.
Day 2: Walk two blocks with the dog, twice.

And so on. This discounts all feeling. Even if I'm feeling like I could keep going, I'm to return home. So that's what I've been doing since last week. The bottom line is I need to kick really, really hard because this type of emotional disorder only gets worse. So whatever "challenge" I'm faced with, I'm not allowed to shy away from it (unless it's a hurdle that's pretty far down the line).

I don't know how applicable this would be to just anyone who experiences anxiety because I recall her being extremely gentle with me in the beginning, and very sympathetic, and letting me give in to it if it was really bad. This doesn't apply anymore!

So there ya go. I hope it's helpful. It seems like common sense, because it is. Anxiety's really illogical to give into, so fight with logic, thinking things like, "I'm physically perfectly capable of walking from this building to that one." and ending it there.

 

[jorats]

That makes sense. Maybe she was gentle with you because you were younger and now she knows you are more mature and more able to handle it.
I've always heard you have to face it head on and not hide from your fears.

 

[Bronwyn]

I think you're right, Jo. She warned me that people who don't fight enough, the ones who give in, are the ones who pretty much get their life stolen away. "No degree, no career, no marriage, no kids." It's not a strange concept, but it's one thing to think it in your own head, and another for a professional to state it. As much as I disliked hearing it, I think I needed that kick in the butt. You'd think wanting your life back the way it was would be enough motive but sometimes a little push in the right direction is needed when you've been in such a deep rut for so long.

 

[Sharlees rattakisses]

I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for YEARS and I finally found Effexor. The difference for me is like night and day.

 

[Godmother]

Yes, everybody needs to have something they want badly enough so that they are willing to battle the discomfort of anxiety to get it. I know someone who wasn't getting anywhere (didn't want to tolerate the discomfort) until he was motivated to go places with his kids. That was the kick he needed to start applying the tools; he is doing great now.

The trick is finding a therapist who helps you to push yourself just the right amount. In order for anxiety to go down, you have to put yourself in a situation where the anxiety is uncomfortable but tolerable. that can vary by the day as well as by the situation. So in the beginning you go easy on yourself (in the eyes of others), but it isn't really easy until you've done the homework repeatedly. A person needs to put themselves in situations that are "challenging, but not overwhelming" to get the fastest and longest-lasting results from exposure to situations. If you don't do something hard enough, you'll never get stronger. If you do something that is way too hard, you risk getting sensitized (and may become unwilling to try again). If you keep your anxiety level in the optimal zone during "homework", the level of distress will go down naturally after about 30-60 minutes. People soon become skilled at moving their level of anxiety up and down, raising it when it gets too low & using deep breathing or distraction to bring it down if it starts going too high. They also begin to realize that anxiety is really uncomfortable but not dangerous. Easy to say, harder to believe for people who are troubled by anxiety.

For example, some people find it hard just to sit on their back porch. If they do that again and again, it becomes easy. Then they are ready to do something a little harder, like walking half a block and back. Taking one step at a time might sound slow, but it is the fastest way.

This method (gradual desensitization) works well for any kind of anxiety from spider phobia to agoraphobia, OCD, Post-traumatic stress, or social anxiety.

 

[Bronwyn]

Effexor was the first thing they tried with me but all SSRI's make me so ill it isn't worth it. I'm really happy to hear it's helping someone though! I think there's at least one other person on this forum who's on it as well, also experiencing the same positive results.

I remember Godmother's PM's were so informative and this is no different. It's fantastic having someone on the forum who really does understand this stuff. I was nodding my head while reading it, haha. It does help having the same concepts (what I would hear from my therapist for example) reworded. You never know when it might finally click! That was a great synopsis and I'm glad you stressed discomfort but not overwhelming anxiety. I was a little confused about that since I was getting mixed messages. Back then it was clear but now it's like she's saying, "Doesn't matter how overwhelming it feels, just do it. You have to know it won't hurt you and the only way you'll learn is to do it." It's different than what she taught me years ago, so...I think I'll bring that up today!

I really hope I can get this thing kicked by September. School's fun but I really don't want to make a career out of it. At 23, I think we're supposed to be trying to save the world. Or something.

 

[Godmother]

Some people prefer going into the overwhelming situations and getting it over with. That sure doesn't work for most people, though. Most people would refuse to do it.

For example, hell would freeze over before I would go into a room full of loose tarantulas running around, but I am willing to work on my spider phobia in a gradual way (or especially using "exposure in imagination", for example watching Arachnophobia)

Maybe it's like the difference between people who inch slooowwwwlllly into cold lake water and those intrepid souls who jump right in!!