Anxiety?

[KristyR]

I've been on most every antidepressant out there at one point or another. First became severely depressed before I was a teen. Started on meds when I was 18. Right now I take Cymbalta, Trileptal, and Strattera. This combo works as well or better than any I've ever taken. Even so, there are still days when the depression and anxiety are overwhelming. I hate those days... the days when not even the rats make me smile. Those are the darkest days.


You know, it is so nice to be able to just say things like that here and not feel judged or embarrassed. You are a wonderful group of people.

 

[Jack Sparrow]

What a beautiful thread that people openly share the challenges they have to face in life. It is not an easy thing to do and this is so great to see people sharing and encouraging each other.

We all have our problem in life and we often think we are alone in that specific situation. I just read that thread and I love the way people understand the problem of other people and try to give suggestion and support.

There are so many people out there who don't understand anything about depression, anxiety, self-harm and even Tourette syndrome and who tend to judge others rather than trying to understand and help. It is so wonderful that people on this forum are not like that. Bravo!!!

 

[Fidget]

Raindrop, the most effective thing is the right doctor or therapist that can help her find the right functioning skills, self-acceptance & respect, career choices and/or meds.
It makes all the difference if a person can get thru job/career skills training while they are younger so they can have a work-life that is both up to their talent & interest level and not affected by their few limitations. Emotional troubles can wreak havoc with your self-esteem and that can lead to accepting destructive choices in your personal life rather than attracting & demanding the respect you deserve. A worklife where you feel capable & appreciated can make you less likely to put your needs into a relationship that is not what it should be.

Finding the right drug if you are going to take them can be a hell-on-earth. Too many wrong choices aren't good for your brain like too many bad experiences aren't good for your positive outlook on your life.
But the trouble is that what drug is right for one person is not going to be right for all. Whatever your husband took isn't necessarily right for your daughter, new meds are discovered all the time, sometimes that's a benefit, sometimes that's making you a guinea pig (or a lab rat) for things that haven't been properly tested. (And the fact is they still don't know how most of the drugs they prescribe for emotional issues work physiologically - or what they are doing to your brain in the long run! especially the newer ones ) Whatever anyone tells you here about what helps or hurts them has no bearing on what will be right for your daughter.

Make sure the doctor or therapist is willing to work with your daughter, not for her. Make sure that they are having regular sessions with her while she adjusts to any med and evaluating not just her ability to function on them but her quality of life on them.

Treating emotional troubles is more an art than a science, you need a hands-on doctor/therapist who cares about the person they create, not just a prescriber who matches the signs & symptoms to the drug chart.

(Oh, btw, I'm a 50 year old neurotic mess who's been a new therapy & drug-test guinea pig since I was 15.) Lol - felt I should add that since everyone else is being open & honest like Jack Sparrow gives kudos for.

 

[Ashley]

Wow, people are being really open, but then again it doesn't surprise me that so many people are like me here, where its a board of dedicated animal lovers. I found having pets really helped me through the rough patches.
KristyR, 2 years is great! Its been since last march for me, and I find its easier the longer you don't do it, but some days its really hard not to. My doctor said if I go back to cutting, it will be like opening a door and easier for me to do next time. She gave me a huge list of things to do to try and distract myself from it.
Jo, I never really looked into self-harm as a condition its self, mostly I assumed it was a symptom. I wanted control, I wanted proof of the pain I was feeling, and I wanted to bleed the "bad" out of me. It did become a habit though, and my solution to anything wrong happening. Obviously not much of a solution and I am still trying to find ways to deal in a so-called "healthy" manner.
I have had so many diagnoses by different doctors, its not an exact science and each new one tells me something else. It was anxiety with clinical depression and borderline OCD, then BPD (borderline personality disorder- a general term for we don't know), then I was told nothing was wrong at all (stupid uneducated doctor), and now low spectrum bi-polar. I'm happy with wellbutrin, I still have depressive moments, "highs", and anxiety but its less and managable. I can get to class most days! Have to admit, I like the highs, I got so much done even if i did crash afterwards. The fact is I am terrified to try a different drug. Getting off paxil was a nightmare, and with finally being in college I can't afford to loose a month or two switching drugs. Then again Paxil was an awful drug for me, it didn't stop my break down at all and kept me feeling "drugged" which didn't help me get better at all. I lost years where I literally couldn't leave the house.
I think I found a good doctor out here, and I see her for the 4th time in a week or two and hopefully she is good. Out of the 11 doctors I have seen in my life since the age of four, only 3 or so have been any good.

I really hope your daughter finds a good doctor and finds a way to manage, and its great you are being so supportive and looking into this. I hate to think where I'd be without my mom helping me.

 

[raindrop]

I find it hard when I am 5 1/2 hours away but I am certainly glad that her fiancee is there with her. I have talked to him a couple of times about the circumstances and tried to give him support too. With having gone through this with my husband 15 years ago I know what sometimes can happen. He has been very supportive.
She did see the councellor last night and she said that that was very helpful. Her supervisor has been very supportive too. I am pretty sure she has decided to leave her job with CAS and pursue other paths. She was to go to a doctor's office today to talk to the same doctor that she saw at emergency room the day before yesterday. I have yet to hear how that went. I told her to make sure she understands the drug she will be taking and what the outdcome of taking it.

Ann

 

[Phyllis]

I am saying prayers for her & all of us with these problems, May she find some peach & joy, I know people say, buck up you have so much to be happy for, but they need to realize it is a chemicl imbalance in our brain, we can no more help this than they can Diebetis, chronins disease, heart trouble, MS any diease, Hgs to all Phyllis

 

[Bati]

Getting past that coprolalia is really hard though sometimes.

I'm taking classes at uni, just for fun, and there is one man with that coprolalia, it sure does take a lot of getting used to, and I still jump when he does 'his trick' but other than that, he's living a very close to ordinary life, and his personality and charm overshadows the 'bad' side.

Reading about all of you make me value my flawless health more - and I truly feel for those with different diagnoses, my friend was afraid to go out (became friends because she forced me to go to the psychiater with her, even though I just knew her from a rat-forum), but I still don't understand half of the anxiety / fobia thing, and hope I never get to understand it. My friend is getting so much better now, and I believe it's due to a big change in her surroundings (moving in with me...oh my that sounds very smug), and me and husband pushing her a bit every day.

I wish all of you will get better and hope for a complete recovery :wink:

 

[Phyllis]

Thank You Honey< I think when more time goes between me & cancer I a will be better!

 

[Ashley]

My friend is getting so much better now, and I believe it's due to a big change in her surroundings (moving in with me...oh my that sounds very smug), and me and husband pushing her a bit every day.

I wish all of you will get better and hope for a complete recovery :wink:

She is very lucky to have a friend like you, I am a big believer in a support system of friends and family helping people with difficulties. I know I lost just about every friend I had in high school when all this happened, but it made me appriciate those that I do have and that understand and are supportive.

 

[LA]

Reading all of this brings me back to something my boss said to me last week. "Everyone has their own issues, whether you let everyone know or not is the difference, and realizing that is a big thing."

I had been to councelling a couple of years ago but stopped when she retired. I went to her over a big issue that I had, but we only focused on that one point and when we kinda got that through she retired and that was it. I was paying her $60/visit. I have always had problems with overreacting and letting things fester inside of me. Finally in the past year things have gotten so bad that I actually want to hit something. I kicked the couch one time, yeah that hurt my foot, but it wouldn't stop me from doing it again. I am so scared now that if I ever had a child that when I got super upset I would hurt my child. At this point the only release I have now is crying and the problem on top of that is that with the festering it just goes on.

So I decided to start seeking councelling again which is the best thing I have done. You start to learn a lot more. I have a lot of low self esteem issues and have been through a lot of mental abuse in my childhood and through to adulthood. I also find it funny when I was telling her about things that happen she actually told me what the person was doing to me. Teasing in elementary school can be something that can really hurt you. But at the time you think it's normal. I am very fortunate that Wayne has been there for me. Although now I find for two days after my appointments I am in a bad mood and I think it's because I rehash everything. I had to come up with a list of 10 things I like about myself and it was very hard to do. Wayne and my best friend and family were just kicking themselves they wanted to help me so much but I had to do it on my own. Normally I am always there for people, with advice and everything, but lately Dr. Lea-Andra is not in, she needs time for herself healing.

I would definately say that going to a councellor and talking to someone who can help you with things is the best. They don't judge, they just listen and help. Even if you think you don't need to.

But what my boss said is definately true, when you realize it you know you are not alone, look at how many people here have been through stuff. I also found out that what you actually think you hide from people like stress etc, you actually don't. Everyone knew I had some things I had to deal with.

 

[jorats]

That's so true LA, I'm beginning to think that functional people really don't exists. We are the norm. lol

 

[LA]

I think for the most part we have brought it on ourselves. I don't mean us on the forum I mean us as human in general.

We've gone from not working weekends, to closed sundays, to working 7 days a week to now open 24 hours.
We eat fast food that techinically promotes overweight. Would you like fries with that? Would you like that supersized? I mean for only 1.79 more we can eat more. Sure it's a deal but at what price?? our health?
More and more jobs are paying less for more work. They expect respect for that. Also they expect you to work like a dog. They come up with every excuse they can NOT to give the hardworking Joe and raise. Also many places do NOT offer benefits so therefore more people are becoming sick and don't have a way to treat themselves, for Canadians thank GOD for OHIP and pray that some government official doesn't take it away.
There is more disease, more cancer.
Things are costing more sometimes with no explaination.
Things are so commercialized now (easter, christmas) and with money being tight... well you know.

The list goes on and on...

And we are all expected to just deal with it. No wonder please are so stressed out!!!

Please note: I am not saying that everyones condition is a result from the things I mentioned. These things don't help the issue, they make us more stressed out. Stress can lead to a lot of things.

 

[jorats]

I so totally agree. I'm trying real hard to stay on a healthy diet, not a diet to lose weight although, that would be a bonus but a diet to eat healthy. When I eat bad, which is quite often I'm afraid, I really feel worse, not just physically but mentally too.

 

[Bati]

I'm beginning to think that functional people really don't exists.

Oh no, I'm 100% normal and functional, my fear of doctors, needles and pain is natural and very healthy, anyone would scream when seeing a needle if they were as healthy as me 8)

 

[raindrop]

I would like to thank everyone for their thoughts on the anxiety issue. Just an update on the beginning of this thread. Our duaghter has left her job at the Children Aid Society in Kingston and has moved back to Sudbury. She took some meds (unknown name of it) until the first of the year.
With leaving the pressure of the job behind her she has been feeling better. Her boyfriend is working and paying the bills and she has been asked to come back to one of her old jobs that she was doing when going to university with the understanding that if a social work job comes available she will be leaving. Her boss is okay with that. Let the wedding plans continue.

Ann

 

[jorats]

Yay for Christine!!

 

[Bronwyn]

I'm so glad Christine found a way through it. When my anxiety disorder first popped up my parents decided to remove me from the high pressure private school. It did help. I saw a therapist and went on a tiny dose of a benzodiazepine. The combination of therapy and the sedative-hypnotic, not to mention leaving the place where I got really stressed out gave me my life back as I stopped leaving the house completely. At 16/17 that's pretty scary.

I'll leave the story there as it's a long one, but that's how I dealt with the anxiety when it was new. The earlier it's treated, the better! I got strong enough that year to against everyone's advice and return to the private school in grade 12 where all my friends were, and managed to graduate on time with my class. It was a great feeling of victory.

I'd recommend that Christine stay on top of it even if she's not at that job anymore. I've found that in my case, it can indeed come back and even worse than before, of course it's unique for everyone. By staying on top of it I don't necessarily mean medication but regularly taking part in something relaxing and participating in activities that would cause her anxiety before. By fighting it when it's down, it's less likely to come back. : / Good luck!

 

[Willow Bean]

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder several years ago but I always knew that I had it. My brother has it (in a severe case where as mine is moderate) and I was always pretty sure that I did too. I was also diagnosed with mild OCD (I'm a checker, Is this on, is the door locked, etc. 20 times over again. Also a bit obsessive with lotion... it's strange but I can't open my hands until I have lotion on them, they clamp up and I hold them in fists), anxiety disorder, insomnia (record is 7 days for me before they gave me tranquilizers to put me out) and borderline personality disorder. With the depression comes the self-hurt. Mine was to feel something, anything, when I would get depressed and go numb. I would scratch with fingernails or anything else I could get to on my arms because I couldn't feel it.

Being with the guy I'm with now has helped a lot, along with meds that I don't take anymore (they "normalized" me and he keeps me stable). He knows my warning signs and makes sure that I don't "lose it" and usually uses the rats to get me stable again. They need me and I'm not much good to them when I go to the dark places. Willow always cuddles up on my arm and kisses my arms, face and hands when I'm cycling down, so my rats have been very important in helping me stay stable too.

Sure feels good to know that I have people I can talk to that are like me!

 

[Bronwyn]

I'm glad you have someone and your rats to keep you stable. Having another person know you well enough to read your silent signs and care enough to stick with you even though you think you're a nutball is such an asset. My boyfriend met me while the anxiety was new so he doesn't know any other version of me. Six years later we're still waiting for the normal me to come back, lol.

Animals as well are lovely too. If not for simple companionship, to keep you going. My parents leaving my Golden with me really kicked me in the butt to function as normally as possible. They need a routine starting early in the morning, and most importantly, time outside an apartment! So by helping them you're helping yourself.

 

[Godmother]

It's inspiring to read about how so many of you have overcome problems that are really hard to tackle. It must be awful to experience these things and not know where to turn.

Anxiety, depression and self-harm can be part of different problems and it is so important to get an accurate diagnosis and a good understanding of what is going on.

People have different tendencies to experience anxiety, but anxiety that is debilitating always has a large learned component. Which means that it can be unlearned to a large extent, and managed. What do I mean by "learned"?

Well, for example, if a person has a bad experience (e.g., blushing in front of a class at school, feeling panicky in the grocery store or when they are alone) they tend to avoid the situation in which they had the experience. They start worrying about whether it will happen again and they monitor their body sensations in the hope of noticing the warning signs in time to escape before anyone will notice. The anxiety begins to spread to many situations until the person feels anxious most of the time and is avoiding many situations. It is natural to associate fear with anxiety sensations, so people learn to escape the situations associated with fear. The whole process is stressful, which increases overall anxiety, and it becomes a viscious cycle.

People often find themselves close to housebound, with nothing to occupy their time except worry and fear. But armed with some knowledge about how anxiety works, and getting coaching from someone who has the right training, people can learn the tools to get out of this mess. The tools are helpful for any kind of anxiety, from trivial things like fear of spiders to major things like fears of getting to know new people.

Medication can be necessary if the anxiety is part of a mood disorder like Major Depressive Disorder or Bipolar Disorder. Otherwise medication (other than antidepressants, which are often helpful) can really interfere.

Unfortunately many counsellors don't have proper training in treatment of anxiety. It can be helpful to talk to them for problem solving (e.g. getting away from a stressful job or relationship), but if you want to get a handle on the anxiety itself it is really worth finding someone who has proper training. (EFAPS tend to send you to someone with a bachelor's degree, which is not enough)

Most doctors also do not have training in treatments like cognitive behaviour therapy, some have taken a 2-day workshop. It is worth finding someone who has studied theories and treatment of anxiety at the graduate level and who has had supervised experience treating it. The most likely professional with that training is a clinical psychologist.

Anxiety is definitely not craziness! There are some really good self-help books that you can use when working with a trained therapist. Most kinds of anxiety can be helped a lot with a dozen sessions. Even OCD, which can be tough to manage, will respond well to a person practicing the skills with the help of someone well trained to troubleshoot.

So, any of you who are looking for a therapist, ask them about their training. Don't put up with anyone who does not treat you with respect or who just gives advice. Avoid anyone who thinks you can only overcome anxiety by lying on a couch and talking about your childhood (yes, there are still a few around). It is very possible to overcome anxiety even if you don't know what caused it.

Good therapy is a collaboration. The therapist should be like a coach (without the yelling! :wink: ).

Anyone who has problems with self injury or continual thoughts of suicide (often over several years, not just part of a depression episode) knows that these behaviours and thoughts become habits that are hard to break. There are some great skills that you can learn as part of a treatment called Dialectical Behavior Therapy. There are some internet sites and self-help books with information about these skills.

I could find some useful links and post them if anyone is interested.

Hope you guys don't mind my rant. :rant: I just hate to see people suffer and get inadequate help. Our health system can be woefully ignorant about mental health issues. Poor treatment, at best, is like giving a one-quarter dose of Baytril for two days to a rat with pneumonia. At worst it's like giving them a yogie for it or putting them in isolation.