So, I hate my Cat ...

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Prime654

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
348
Location
Guelph, Ontario, Canada
So I have a cat ... Ok, maybe I don't "hate" it, but she can be frustrating.

I took the cat in for a friend / co-worker late in my last sememster at university as she had gotten sick and put in the hospital, diagnosed with cancer and passed on within a month. It was never meant to be a permenant situation, just turned out that way as the few friends/family I talked to about taking the cat were unable to take her off my hands for one reason or another. Well given i was graduating and moving away, and me being somewhat responsible, I had to take her with me.

Well, shes been with me now for about 6 years but she's still a very independant cat. Won't let me touch her / groom / pet her unless its on her terms, hiding away in a corner most of the day. She's a long hair cat which means she's hacking up hair balls almost daily and sheds like crazy. Every time a do a good cleaning of a room I swear i have enough hair to make 3 or 4 more cats. We clearly still haven't bonded after several years, Im not a cat person and shes too independant to make me think otherwise. Currently, were just 2 entities sharing the same living space.

Anyways, I'm not sure what to do. It's not that I want to get rid of her, I definately not one of those people that thinks pets are disposable or an accessory that can be thrown out on a whim (or at least like to think I am not). However, I can't help think she might be better off somewhere else. Also, she is getting older and if there are any serious medical conditions that arise, I'm not sure if I'll be willing or able to do everything for her.

I'm just at a loss as to what do with her...
 
Sounds like she's having a hard time adjusting. She must have went through quite a grieving process when she lost her mom.
What about rescue groups? They might be able to help with pointers. Also, find the perfect family for her.
 
My friend had her for about 3 months before falling ill. Ive had her for over 6 years.

Given the situation I really didn't get alot of information about her past other then she came from the humane society, was about 3 years old, had a tendonectomy, and was always pretty independant.

Im guess im asking am I a jerk for thinking about giving her up, or am I a jerk for keeping her without really bonding with her.
 
I don't think you are a jerk in the least. You took her in because you were helping a friend. If you are not a cat person, then it's time to rehome her. And I know you'll go through the right steps for that.
As for being a jerk if you keep her... absolutely not. One of my girls here is very independent. Hates to be touched or even looked at. Ruby has been with me for over 16 years. She lives her life, I live mine.
 
jorats said:
As for being a jerk if you keep her... absolutely not. One of my girls here is very independent. Hates to be touched or even looked at. Ruby has been with me for over 16 years. She lives her life, I live mine.
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I think I could keep on doing that, it not like we haven't been doing it for 6 years already anyways.

I just feel bad thinking that if anything serious (costly) did come up I most likely wouldn't be able to do anything for her, where someone able to bond with her might.
 
Some cats that are declawed end up with serious behavioural issues, so I would assume a tendonectomy may have similar effects on a cat. Cats with tendonectomy are not able to dull their own claws, so if you don't trim them for her she could be in pain, causing her poor attitude. Nails after this procedure can also become more brittle, causing splitting and shattering that may be painful for her as well, again, making her seem very unsocial. Have you had a vet check her over for any signs of nail issues? I know that you didn't choose a tendonectomy for her, so it's not your fault if this is the issue, but it's really not her fault either, so please be understanding of her, although I do know it's difficult sometimes.
 
Kayla is bringing up a very valid point

Our almost 20 yr old is declawed... was by the previous owner, we adopted her when she was 15.... She had a horrible time adjusting. From being a single pet to being a household full of pets.... and then she has the typical issues that often come with declawed cats.... not using the litterbox, being cranky etc.

We adopted her thinking she'd probably only have a few months to live.... I'm not a cat person but you know, I adore and love her anyway. She is starting to mellow out in her age and is now tolerating the dog and other animals. Now she's just got kitty dementia and tends to forget that there's always food down so she cries when she's hungry wanting food and wakes us up at least 3 times a night... she just forgets to check... Or then she doesn't like the flavor that is available.

Our other cat that just showed up was a semi feral. We have been feeding her for 3 yrs and she just wasn't adoptable. AGain, we didn't really want another cat esp. one with issues but we were her only option. But I too learned to adore her even though she was driving me insane at night as she wanted in out in out in out or just sat on our patio crying. She never adjusted to life strictly indoors (I don't believe in outdoor cats but we tried everything) unfortunately and our fears came true last week... She has been missing for a week. We have a lot of coyotes in the area. I'm absolutely heartbroken even though we didn't really want a cat and she was a pain in the butt... But now that she is gone I want nothing more than for her to come back.
 
I do keep a close eye on her nails. One of the side effects of the tendonectomy was that her nail can / has grown into her paw. I wasnt aware of this at first, so when I fell a few weeks behind on her nail trimming I found one growing directly into her foot pad. I took her to the vet at that time (and prescribed anti-biotics after the first incident since it did penatrate the pad), so she is aware of the problem. Every since then I examine and trim her nails every 3 weeks or so. Which she hates and I'm sure isn't helping any on the bonding front:p
 
I had a cat that would not bond with me. I was in the same situation you were in. I didnt want to get rid of him yet i did not want to keep him as he was mean to me. Then , all of a sudden he got all frisky with my boyfriends sister. He would cuddle with her and let her pet him , and he was happy. Needless to say , he ended up with my boyfriends sister. They were a perfect match. I think your cat needs to find a perfect match. :cuddle:
 
Prime, I recently adopted two cats from the Guelph HS six months ago only to learn I am not at all a cat person. My one is very independent and the other is quite a cuddle-bug. I do what I have to do with them because I feel I am responsible for them. They both have gingivitis so teeth have to be brushed everyday, which they both hate. They are not declawed so claw need to be clipped once a month and they are persians so hair is combed every second day.

For your kitty I would attempt to comb her out more often, at least once a week. If she is currently a big matted mess then that will be making her cranky, you may want to take her to a groomer to be shaved down for the summer, then you can start grooming her everyday to maintain her coat. FYI use a metal greyhound comb for grooming as it is easier, quicker and static-free. I know that she will probably fight you tooth and nail but if you want to wade through a few scratches you can get it done. I can prove it! If you can think of a way to be sneaky when grooming that can work too, I have to trick my Carnage to groom him and put him in a pillow case to do his bum.

Also you may want to check to see if her teeth are in good condition, some kitties get super cranky when they're teeth are cruddy they will act out. You will probably get more scratches doing this than grooming, I have the scars to prove that too. Other than that I don't know what to say, I do feel she may have formed her very own special bond with you and she may just be a independent cat but really I have no idea about cats, she could very well be completely different around someone else.

Hope that helps a bit.
 
sausage4ever said:
For your kitty I would attempt to comb her out more often, at least once a week. If she is currently a big matted mess then that will be making her cranky, you may want to take her to a groomer to be shaved down for the summer, then you can start grooming her everyday to maintain her coat. FYI use a metal greyhound comb for grooming as it is easier, quicker and static-free. I know that she will probably fight you tooth and nail but if you want to wade through a few scratches you can get it done. I can prove it! If you can think of a way to be sneaky when grooming that can work too, I have to trick my Carnage to groom him and put him in a pillow case to do his bum.
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He hair is not matted, but the thought of shaving her down sounds great ... I didnt think you could do that. Her coat is actually quite nice ... just alot of it ... all over the place.
 
Brushing more regularly might help cut down on the shedding, and might facilitate more bonding between you two.
 
I've tried, but I always have to hold her down / back so she doesnt run off. Dont get me wrong im not pinning her to the ground or anything just holding her firmly, loosining up as I feel she settles down but whenever i completely let go, shes off with no intrest of coming back.

My aunt used to have a cat that absolutely hated people, wouldnt come out from behind the furnace unless it was to eat or poop... however if you managed to get her out and groom her she would happilly purr and and sit there until YOU got tired.

Guess Ill have to keep at it, at the very least to stop the shedding and hacked up furballs. Going to have to find a place to shave her though :p
 
You'd be surprised how many grooming places will do cats but don't necessarily advertise it. Just call around.
 
Vets/ techs will do it too, but they may be more expensive depending on your vet. I took our long haired cat into our cat rescue vet and I held her while the vet shaved her for cheap.

You could also try a natural stress remedy for your cat to see if that helps her at all. Cats can get very stressed if they feel they can't defend themselves with their claws. There are drops you can add to her food or water, and there is also a spray that may help. One of our male cats had to be on anti- depressants for a while, but that was for aggression/ territorial marking and the meds were only short term. We do still use natural remedies for our easily stressed cats though.
 
Give her cat nip!!! That always helps my cat relax!
Chihirooncatnip2.jpg
 
I recently bought the furminator brush for my cat, it works wonders. my cat is short haired, but when i brushed her, i could probably make a kitten out of the fur haha. i was pretty surprised with how well it worked. and i just let my cat sort of walk past it and i trick her into brushing her. but now she likes being brushed, i guess she notices how much better she feels with nice fur lol. so she just sits on her bum and waits for me to finish :)
 
Sorry, but after keeping her for six years she is definitely your cat. If another home was going to be contemplated, it should have been several years ago. Now she is considered almost senior, might have future health concerns, has current health concerns, and I think it is irresponsible to rehome her at this point. The fact that you originally took her from a friend in need, and that you weren't looking for a cat to adopt, is irrelevant after keeping her for six years. She is your animal.
At this age, nothing in her temperament is going to change and the likelihood of her miraculously bonding to someone else is almost nil. That is her personality and it won't change. Some cats are needy and some are very independent and there is very little that people can do about it.
You might want to consider speaking to a vet and having her groomed/shaved periodically and that will help control the hair issue. The bonding issue is a done deal.
 
We were meant to be looking after our last dog "for a couple of weeks" while his 'owner' tried to find someone else to look after him. He had just moved into a flat where he couldnt have pets. My mum seriously didnt want a 9month old giant of a puppy running about (shes a single parent with 3 children - my dad had just walked out a year before and we were having money problems). He had no training what so ever, he was not toilet trained and he trashed our house - he ate through 2 doors trying to get in to the next room, ate a massive whole in the floor trying to get under the door, etc.. We had gone from having an old, trained, German Shepherd bitch to this crazy ass all-legs Wiemaraner and i think my mum hated every second of it for about 3yrs lol (not to mention, he ate like a horse). There was never anything else said from his 'owner' and we ended up keeping him for 12 years. After the first year i think my mum realised that he wasnt going to be going anywhere else - i think mostly we wouldnt let her lol - and it was never mentioned again
 
my bf's dad took in a stray cat because he was afraid of it freezing outside (-30c at times) and although it was only supposed to be temporary, she stayed. she is a long haired cat and he has to get her shaved every couple of months, she absolutely hates it so they end up binding her feet with this stretchy fabric to keep her claws away from skin :D when she's down she looks like a chicken :p I think it's called a lion cut when they keep the hair around the head with booties and a poof at the tip of the tail.
Buffy (with a name like that no wonder she hates everyone) still doesn't like my bf's dad and I think they've both accepted that, she also doesn't like my bf and growls at him often, she likes me abit but hides when strangers come to the house. I think some cats are just that way, some are anti-social and others (like my cat sophie) are big sucks. she may not show it but I'm sure she loves you in her own way and if you got rid of her now, she probably would suffer. Google lion cut and giggle at the pictures :D
 

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