German Fiance - Starting Over...

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EDK

EDK

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2012
Messages
1,720
Location
Texas
Hey all, sad sad EDK here...

Some may remember me mention that I'm happily engaged to my fiance, who currently lives in Germany. We met online through gaming, flew over twice a year to be with each other and as of last year back in Jan. he proposed to me and since then we've been going through the USCIS, Alien Fiance Petition process. Unfortunetly though, not being able to afford a lawyer and lack of knowledge in this process, our petition was rejected due to lack of evidence of our proof of courtship more or less. I filed for an Appeal of Motion, back Oct. 22, 2012 with the requested evidence, recieving a recipet for it a few days later with the assurence of getting a note or respond back between then and 48 days of whether or not our case has been reopened.

Well it's now Feb 22, 2013, not only did I not recieve a notice of our case being opened or declined, the people on a 2nd level of the USCIS have been completely unhelpful or sympathetic in our situation. They basically told me as of 2 weeks ago that they'd send me a notice within 48days of whether or not our case will be open, let alone is it in process...

Some folks say he could still come here right now on a normal fly passport, with good intentions, and we get married, and supposedly the feds cannot touch him when this happends. This is in theory commiting fraud, though we're not, we love each other, we want to be with each other and the government is just simply not letting it happen any time soon. Me and my fiance though fear if we take that chance though then there's still a high chance that even if we're married with our marriage certifercate, they could still send him back to his country. Or if it DOES work, we have to go through the painful process of filing for his Adjustment of Status just so we can get his green card amongst other things.

I guess at this point, I don't know what to do, I'm seeking some positive support or hope that this WILL happen and maybe theres something we can do to speed things along. Can we take that loop hole and he can come and marry me without the fear of being sent back home? Or is there just no real secure way, other then to hope we get word of the petition beign re-accepted, and we have to go through more paper work on his end, just to get his visa...

Thanks in advance for your thoughts. For those of you who don't know or can't exactly picture what I'm going through, imagine your dearest love, your soul mate, love of your life... and you've been seperated from him/her for over a year, without knowing if you'll see him/her again...that they are over 7,000 miles away... there you go :sad3: :cry4:
 
It's really tricky to get those visas. A lot of people take advantage of American/Canadian citizens to get residency and then leave their 'soul mates' as soon as they land here so governments want to make sure that's not what's going on. I know sometimes you can get married and then apply to bring your partner over (you go over there to get married). I wouldn't recommend he move to the states to marry you without the visa, if he does that you will have to financially support him (he will not be allowed to work and if he does so under the table he could be deported) for a year or longer and that will be miserable for him (not being able to do anything with his life or contribute) and for you.
 
Victoria is right, plus you can be in jeopardy of fraud charges if they decide you are only marring him to get him a green card and/or to put him on your insurance.. Better to do things legally. Can't you contact someone in your local government office to help you or direct you to someone that maybe able to assist you?
 
If he marries you "unplanned" while in the states he will be unable to leave the country for any reason until his paperwork goes through.. I also have to say the fact that you already filed paperwork means they may take a really good look at the "unplanned" part of the wedding and I am not sure what they would do if they felt that you had planned the whole thing.
 
I know someone (Canadian) who married an American. She then applied for residency. She had a long wait for the papers -- more than a year. She could only visit the US for short periods, so had to go back to work in Canada until the papers came through.

Would your fiancé be able to get a work permit in Canada, to be within visiting distance?
 
I would try to stick to the rules. Did you ever read the book Eat Pray Love? Where that guy was deported back to his home country after being in the US illegally and then he was on their no-entry list forever, his partner was still in the US. I would hate for that to happen.
 
That is the fear... all of those fears.

I've tried contacting a congressmen, without success, he's either ignored my calls or my letters.

As for visiting/living in Canada, that's a waste of time and money considering I live in TEXAS!!!!!!!! *calms* We're not trying to commit fraud, the fact we're trying to do the right thing by going through the system should be obvious...and paying all these filing fees together. It's frustrating though when we don't hear back from anyone for almost 2yrs, not even a dang phone call, a note nothing? I have no prison record, nor does he, we are legitamte lovers, hell I could post a number of pics of us going kissy kissy or smiling and hugging, but they don't care...it almost feels like we've been forgotten.

:cry4:
[BBvideo 450,375:3bhdy5ie]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jm5gfuT9Z4[/BBvideo:3bhdy5ie]
 
It must be so frustrating. The person I know who went through it became very discouraged, and she was at least able to visit her husband.

Oh, yeah, you're in Texas! Sorry I didn't look first :oops:

I don't know whether being married already would help. It seems like the process is long and difficult no matter what. Is it any easier if you tried to go to Germany?

Best of luck to you both.
 
No it wouldn't be easier unfortunetly, I dont' speak the language, i have loads of family here back in TX, to which he knows, and I'm in the middle of school getting my degree for 2D animation, I have a career planned out, to which he does not and admits to, plus he already has NO opprotunity where he lives in Germany anyway, unless he were to move to a city. He lives in the middle of nowhere Germany, small village residence. We both agreed it'd benefit both of us location wise that we stay in the states not germany, I would have more to lose then he does, to which he would have more to gain by coming here.

We've been together almost 3yrs now visiting back in forth, and now it's been more then a year since we've last seen each other due to this whole immigration process, it's very very frustrating. Sadly he and I had a talk again about it last night and we both agreed (once again) to wait it out and see, but its hard explaining this to our families who are all waiting for us to get this "show on the road" so that we may stop being misserable because of our seperation. We are misserable, and it shows daily, they are sick of us being mopy, his family and mine lol. But what can we do? They don't seem to understand that these things take time and that there is NO magic loop hole where he can come to the states without consequences... :(
 
Feeling mopy again from our seperation so i figured I just share how me and my fiance met.

Back around 2009, I was admining my gaming community's Aliens vs. Predator 2 server (as my sig states, I'm a gamer lol) I'm one of the founding admins of my community. Anyways a couple of our German members came up to me and said "hey we just met another guy in one of the public servers, he's cool, he's German like us! And he was hoping he could tryout for our group?"

I was annoyed because I was kinda enjoying my little alien "solo" hunting spree when they came up, but as it's part of my job in our group to recruit other members who wish to join, I said "Fine tell him the password and direct him here, I'll see what he's got". So a few minutes later, this new player going by Xeno shows up, as a runner alien. Runner alien, small class, fast, not very strong in armor :giggle: I'm a drone class that's balanced. No bragging intended I was one of the strongest players in my group. Anyways this "Xeno" was terrified of me, not really knowing i was female either. We had a match, I kicked his booty :giggle: but I saw he had heart and good morals so I said he could join. After a few months he got to know me and realized I was female, he wanted to get "closer" more or less. But at the time I had gone through a really rough break up, and 4yrs I wasn't doing well, didn't want another relationship. So he kept his distance for awhile in the hopes he'd see an opprotunity to win me over.

Well he did lol, one day he said he could bare it no longer, friendship wasn't enough, he wanted to take it to the next level. To which I told him, he's crazy, because he's in a totally different country and im a thick yank! He said he didn't care about the risk, he "loved me" too much not to take a chance. He flew all the way over here, on his own, first time in the USA, just to see me... and people I tell you what, it was love at first sight. And for the last few years we've been flying back and forth seeing each other, spent the holidays together, our relationship growing more and more. Till that one faithful day, Jan. 19, 2011, while we were talking about when we can next see each other:

Me: It's gonna be hard for me getting there with school and work now babe :(
boyfriend: I know, same for me just due to finances...plus I hate flying...
Me: I hate it too, it's a full day's flight, I'm claustrophobic
boyfriend: ya and the security junk you gotta go through is insane!
Me: lol you telling me? *sighs* well I came up last time so it's you're turn :)
boyfriend: sweety, the next time I come up there, I'm not going back.
Me: ??? what? lol what are you saying??
boyfriend: I think you know what I mean :)
Me: ???? are...are you proposing?
(boyfriend turns Fiance): Yes I am :)
Me: you're insane, truely insane...how will this work??
Fiance: i'm not sure myself, I just know I want to be with you, regardless of country differences. We'll figure it out... but what do you say?
Me: are you seriously asking me?
Fiance: Baby... will you marry me?
Me: :thud: yes... YES!!! you crazy German Man! :hugs:
 
:sad3: :sad3: :sad3: :sad3:

Well, as ya'll can read...me and my fiance see no other option but to start restart the entire process of filing for the petition for a finace visa again...

Reason it came to this is that my sister is hooking me up with a lawyer who says basically our Motion to Appeal, could take years for a response, and sadly 70% of those are denied anyway, and waiting all that time is torturing for anyone...

The reason why I'm stressed out and upset is that if I add up all the finances together, it would cost me and him over $3355 to file the petition, file for the visa, then file for his green card plus the attorney fees. I only have about little over a grand of money saved up, im a college student full time while working at a real low hourly paid job that refuses to give me more hours and finding another job hasn't been going well lately... I gotta get started on this though with this lawyer if I want my finance here by NEXT YEAR :cry4: (a whole nother YEAR of waiting???!!!!). I'm tortured on money now... but my family said they'd help me when they can but they are all tight on money as it is as well... My only alternative is to reach out to a long not spoken to sister, i've not spoken to since my dad died, and hope that with all that dang money she inhereited and didn't bother to share with the rest of us, she'd be willing to help me and him out.

At this point ladies... I'm venting, im very very sad, even my rats could tell i was distressed. After getting off the phone and talking to my fiance and family, bursting into tears with the unknown future lying ahead of us, the first thing I saw was all 5 of the EDK rat pack coming up to the doors to see me, all anxious for me to open the door so they could cuddle my hands and face, even my big shy white boy Nes wanted to cuddle. Times like these I'm thankful to have these little angels here with me, they managed to keep me from flipping out more then I did. :sad3:
 
:cry4: :cry4: :cry4:

I'm scared that's for sure, will I get the money to pay for all of this? Will my long lost sister help me out? Can anyone really in my family, already in finacial hard times be able to help? It's gut wrenchin guys, I can't find words to describe it :cry4:
 
i really have no advise or anything to help you besides that fact that i truly hope you get through this! though i cant help but wonder what game you played to meet him. im a big gaming nerd myself
 
We played a game called Aliens vs Predator 2, was a popular online PC game back in 2001, we still play it despite Sierra shut down its home server, the community or aka us players are the ones tht keep it going through mods. He and I still play that along with other games that our gaming community plays. Yeah we're in a gaming clan more or less, it's kinda how we keep sane and have fun, pretend we're actually with each other through a good online gaming experience.

Currently...we're going through the process of getting all the neccissary documents ready to re-send our Alien Fiance Petition again... along with all the needed evidence to prove our relationship... Despite how much just this FIRST step is going to cost us, it's gotta be done asap before November, otherwise our physical meets will be declared invalid. We've not seen each other since Nov 2011 simply because we were busy going through the FIRST process of filing for the Petition and Motion to Appeal (WHICH FAILED), and well, it costs us $1,200 each for one of us just to fly and see each other for 3 months. Not to mention now I'm working, I'm in school with my final class coming up in the summer, I can't afford to fly back to Germany. He hates flying now and will only fly when it's his last flight to come here basically, with the exception of flying back to his home country with my folks to meet his family. He can't risk flying here to visit even if he wanted to, with all the paperwork still up in the air, if they were to ask him what were his motives for coming to the states and they trace our paper work back, they could send him back to Germany and may not even let him return. It's a risk we're not willing to take.

WHY SO DIFFICULT :gaah: :cry4:
 
That is truly ridiculous...I'm sorry it's been so hard for you, and I'll keep my fingers crossed that it goes smoother from here out. Damn the red tape!

What is even the point of all that???
 

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