KMG365
Well-Known Member
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hair dryer
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap
Directions Use like regular soap.
(and that would be .. how??)
On some Swanson frozen dinners
Serving suggestion Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
Fits one head.
(!!!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time???) (Whose body??)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!)
On Nytol sleep aid
Warning may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife
Warning keep out of Children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to outer space or underground)
On a Japanese food processor
Not to be used for the other use.
(Hmmmm, now I'm curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts
Warning contains nuts.
(no comment)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts
Instructions open packet, eat nuts.
(what is going on here?)
On a Swedish chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(as if you try to stop *anything* with your genitals)
On a child's superman costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
On a Sears hair dryer
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap
Directions Use like regular soap.
(and that would be .. how??)
On some Swanson frozen dinners
Serving suggestion Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
Fits one head.
(!!!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time???) (Whose body??)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!)
On Nytol sleep aid
Warning may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife
Warning keep out of Children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to outer space or underground)
On a Japanese food processor
Not to be used for the other use.
(Hmmmm, now I'm curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts
Warning contains nuts.
(no comment)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts
Instructions open packet, eat nuts.
(what is going on here?)
On a Swedish chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(as if you try to stop *anything* with your genitals)
On a child's superman costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
