Requests you wish rats could understand.

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Ron: please stop marking me... I know I don't smell like you, but i'm yours, you don't need to claim me, i'm not going any where... and it makes me itchy.

Neville: I will continue to put food in the cage, you don't have to stash everything for later. I promise I wont let you starve.

Seams: Please, never go on another unapproved adventure. I almost died from stress while you were missing... and if it does happen, don't run hide in my closet when I find you... there is no need... i'm not going to punish you, i don't believe in punishing animals...

Dumbledore: I hope that I can help you feel better, even if just a little bit. you're a sweet heart, and I just want to give you a good life, even if there isn't much left.
 
rat.charmer said:
Dear Cotton,

I'm sure Boo and I would really appreciate it if you stopped chewing through your hammock while you both were lying in it...thus causing everybody to crash to the bottom of the cage at 3 a.m., and giving your mom a heart attack because she thinks somebody is trying to break into her apartment.
Click to expand...

OHHH LOL!!!
 
Girls: Dear fattie and booboo you two do not own the cage please stop acting like it everyone gets that your the alpha fattie there is no need to torture them further and keep me up all hours of the night booboo i know your just a henchman but come on stop helping her steal everyones blocks!
Dear squeakers. every time i pick you up i am NOT going to hurt you please stop screaming
Dear may i love you so stop running away from me
Dear Freya your a good special little girl stay how you are.

Boys: Dear mocha i love you but you dont need to stare at me every morning and beg me to come see you i always will every morning
Dear pinky. i love you but please stop biting me when ever i reach in the cage i need to reach in there to feed you so.yea and its not nesicary to pee on me when i pick you up
Dear brain.i love you how you are even though your shy <3
Dear. latte brain keeps him self plenty clean thanks and i dont think he apreciates you trying to groom him hence why he runs away! please dont give chase
 
Dear top half of the CN: Stop throwing your litter pan off the shelf.

Dear bottom half of the CN: Stop eating your hammocks and chewing your pan!
 
Dear Mr. Honeycomb: your girls have litter-trained themselves! I know you're approaching 2, and the whole old rat new tricks problem is there, but could you try at least to only poop on the bottom level, instead of the highest place you can find?!

Girls: said poops Mr. Honeycomb leaves around are not to be used for throwing practice, no matter how much fun it is...
 
Dear Frank,
You do not need to grab veggies & Fruits like its the end of the world you will get them every other day like always, there is no need to be rude when taking them from my hands :heart:

Dear Spade & Kitty Momma,
I really wish you guys could let new comers in and greet them nice, please girls it would make mommy's life so much easier :cuddle:

Love your Momma :heart:
 
OMG sooo funny, I love this!

Dear Flowers: The multi-colored thing in the cage is another hamock, use it. Everytime I leave the room, I will come back, you don't have to worry. You are so beautiful, I want to show you off, please let me take your pictures, rather than darting around acting like the flash is a monster. If I open the cage, pease don't try to run away, there are cats around. Speaking of cats, please stop pulling their tails into your cage and biting them when they pass by. Blocks are good for you, please eat them rather than make a floor out of them. Also, the soft blue disk is a bed, not a toliet! One more thing, if your igloo is upside down, you can't hide it it, so stop flipping it!
 
LOVE this! So funny...

-------------
Dear Bella:

It’s been a year. You aren’t scared of me anymore. Running to hide and peeking out nervously from behind the ramps loses its effect when you follow it up by galloping straight up to me, out in the open, and clinging on to my hand with both front paws -- if I’m holding a treat. Quit being cheeky, monkey.

Dear Fozzie:

Yes. You’re really adorable and loveable. You don’t need to be on my lap or my feet at all times during out time for me to remember and reward you appropriately for this accomplishment. (p.s. Sometimes your constant lickiness kinda feels like you're taste testing me for ripeness...but I'm sure I'm wrong about that, right?)
However, I need to tell you something: You have a head tilt. You can not jump, climb, and balance like Bella does. Stop trying. Slithering down my arm from my shoulder while we’re out wandering around the house is just a bad idea for someone your size, with your balance issues, as is trying to climb the bars of the cage. The outcome is seriously undignified. No, I’m not implying that you’re fat. Just comfortably plump. Yes, it does add to your overall cuteness, now stop bugging me.

Love, mom.
 
:laugh4:

DadRat said:
Dearest Dominic,

The occasional "you are getting old and grooming less now you're filthy" bath is not actually murder. Squeaking as if someone put your tail in a pencil sharpener is not needed, it is rather heart-wrenching. We know you do not like water (although Dad does enjoy the post bath hide in the shirt to warm up time.)

Love,
DadRat
Click to expand...
 
Look, whoever is chewing the pan and the liners had better listen up: this is going to cut into your treats & hammock budget!

Couldn't you guys just pee in your litter boxes?
 
rat.charmer said:
Dear Cotton,

I'm sure Boo and I would really appreciate it if you stopped chewing through your hammock while you both were lying in it...thus causing everybody to crash to the bottom of the cage at 3 a.m., and giving your mom a heart attack because she thinks somebody is trying to break into her apartment.
Click to expand...
:laugh4: :laugh4: :laugh4:
 
So much fun to read all of these, I feel like many of mine have already been said haha :laugh4:

Rosie, I get it already! You love me now stop peeing ALL OVER ME! That is all.

Ralphie, I am only trying to help you, it's nothing personal but at 690g NO you cannot have another treat!

Rufus, Stop looking so damn cute all the time, I need to stop running for the camera every time I look at you!

Rupert, Would you put on some clothes already! LoL j/k I love you my little man, we both know your a momma's boy and I wouldn't have it anyother way! :heart:

Zoe, Why is it you run to see me all the time and beg for attention but whenever I try to pick you up you grab onto things with your back legs spread out like a frog as if I'm going to kill you? P.S. You do a wonderful job looking innocent all the time but I know it's you whose chewing the gigantic wholes in the plastic FN trays!

Lily, You are my sweet little girl and I am so sorry for everything in your past, I hope I've given you everything you've ever wanted! :heart: P.S. Stop picking fights.

My Foster Girls...

Lena (Weenie) and Petunia(Patootie), You girls are crazy sometimes, could you please keep it down between the hours of 11pm and 8am? And stop sticking your little toes in the way of the cage door every time I put you back because I know you are stalling and just want to stay out!
Patootie you have the sweetest most forgiving soul, I am sorry for your past but so glad we rescued you...you have forever changed me.

P.S. Daddy wants to keep you... and I think I do too! :hugs:
 
These posts have been so much fun, they made us all laugh on a really crappy day.
:dance: :dance: Thanks so much!
We have a few requests for our ratties:
Zwack-you are huge and the biggest of rats-stop acting like a weeny when we take
you out of the cage-it's embarrassing. :oops:
Twang- you're cool even if your nails are like fish hooks and clipping them is like
Mission Impossible.
Plink-we know you are proud of your big round belly but no, you cannot have more
treats than anyone else.
Dusty- Our sweet agouti girl. We are trying to help you so much, please do not freak
out when Mommy gives you your medicine, it makes me so sad and I feel so mean. Yes, the medicine tastes horrible :sick2: but we can't get it into you any other way. We worry about you.
Olive- you have been here awhile & we have never hurt you.. Please stop biting me & going into attack mode of the criminally insane rat half the time.
Carlin- You do realize you are hairless & that all those cozy beds & pieces of fleece are to keep you warm? Please stop sleeping on a piece of paper on the shelf next to them.
Last but not least, Spots- we know you are just a young thing but please stop every now & then when you are out. It makes us tired just to watch you. Also, stop grabbing my clothes when I walk by the cage. I cannot come in & play. Also, your litter pan is not a chew toy.
All you sweethearts have changed our lives forever!! :heart:
 
This post is priceless! It is so much fun to read! Here is my attempt:

This post is priceless! I enjoy reading them so much!

Dear Bree, Please PLEASE stop escaping from the playpen and cage! Ok you have made your point. You are the smartest and best escape artist ever. Stop. You are pushing me closer to an early grave each time I find you missing!

Dear Coco, I know we don’t have much time left together but I hope I’m making your last days the best. I will miss you my sweet girl.

Dear Chloe, Keep being so darn cute and cuddly! Thank you for letting me maul and kiss you, especially on the bad days, without one word of protest!

Dear Beatrix, Stop running over to me with excitement and then run away as I go to touch you. You are confusing mom. But you are still so darn cute!

Dear Cohen, The girls are not in the cage for you to boss around. Their squeals and running away from you is a strong indication for you stop tormenting them!

Dear Lily, You had such a terrible beginning in life and I wish I could make you feel better now. Please get better soon.

Dear Rats, All those many expensive toys I buy, are for you to chew NOT the hammocks, litter box, wheel, and food dishes. I will need to dip in your treat fund to pay for the damages if this continues! Also, I now have two silent spinner wheels in the cage so please stop fighting over the one wheel! They are both identical so what is the problem??
 
rat.charmer said:
Dear Cotton,

I'm sure Boo and I would really appreciate it if you stopped chewing through your hammock while you both were lying in it...thus causing everybody to crash to the bottom of the cage at 3 a.m., and giving your mom a heart attack because she thinks somebody is trying to break into her apartment.
Click to expand...
:laugh4:

I know the feeling! :D They always look so sheepish afterwards too.
 
Pixel and Pumpkin,

I know you're still new here but you have the entire bed to run about on; please come out from behind our pillows and the curtains.

Pixel, I know you don't mean to be rude, but mommy does not appreciate you peeing in her lap...no matter how cute you may look until I feel it.

Pumpkin, no matter what you think, I can still see you...there is no need to sit behind the curtains...
 

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