relative taking advantage of us

[pscychopomp]

I won't go into too much details to keep this fairly short. Basically my dad had some problems with the friend he was living with last year, he talked my mom into letting him stay with us (they're divorced..). It was supposed to be for max 2 months and he weasled his way into staying almost a year, and he probably would still be with us if we hadn't all moved (me on my own, mom and brother together). He made up with the friend, then 5 days before the move they had another fight and he was told he can't move there. I told him he can stay with me for 1 month, after that my boyfriend is moving in. Again him and this friend made up/got into another fight, so again that didn't work and a couple other options didn't pan out. He tried to ask to stay for 1 more but I said no. He is now staying with my aunt...however most of his stuff, his dog, and pet mice are still here. I told him he can keep them here for 1 more month because my aunt won't let him, and I was more concerned with getting him to go. Well it's 1 week til July and he still doesn't have a place. I know that he's not in the best financial state, and it's hard to find a place that will take dogs (I know landlords can't prevent you having pets, but lying about it is not going to make a very good relationship). I also am pretty sure he is not trying his hardest either because he's used to just having people help him out, and he's always banking on his get-rich-quick schemes to come through.

So far the advice I've been given is to give him 30 days notice that his stuff, including pets, will be gotten rid of if he doesn't take it. Obviously I would like to avoid that, and I couldn't do that to the dog. He's had her for 11 years. I don't want to look after her anymore though, and this whole issue with my dad is causing fights with my boyfriend (on top of it my aunt lives out of town, so when he comes in to work his random jobs here in TO, he asks to stay the night here). I thought I would ask you guys for advice, since I figure you'd all be with me about not taking her to a shelter (there's animals who need the space more).

edit to add that this isn't something that happened only within the last year, he's always done different things to take advantage of people over the years.

 

[jorats]

Oh boy... this is your dad! This must be difficult on you. For me, there would be no question about the pets. I would keep them especially since mice don't live long and the dog is old. But I think I'd have to put my foot down with dad. He has a history of mooching and it's never going to stop if you keep enabling him. It's hard but tough love does work.
If you absolutely can't keep the pets, then find them good homes.
You should try talking to the bf and tell him that this is no picnic for you and that you are doing your best struggling with this issue physically and mentally. You really don't need his crap on top of it all. BF should be supportive not destructive.

 

[Moon]

I would start looking for places for him, and having some suitable spots already picked out to show him. Apartment hunting can be really daunting for some, and he might just need help doing that first step.