Just can't do it anymore

[turkeyspit]

I never saw it coming, but I think my family and I will have to abandon the idea of being rat owners. To date, we have been happy to share our lives with 7 of these ridiculously adorable creatures, but we are at the point of saying that our colony has seen it's last addition.

The original 3 we had were rescues, and although they were only with us for about a year, they filled our lives with joy. As each of them left us for the rainbow bridge, we replaced them with a new critter, until we were left with a colony of four fuzzies.

Just recently, at an age of 1yr and 2 months, we lost another to illness - and we just can't bear to go through this every year or so.

When my wife first suggested rats, I (having never owned one) felt that it wouldn't be so hard to say goodbye after only 2-3 years; after all, how attached can you get to a rat? How could I have been so wrong??

Our daughter (now 14) is committed to becoming a veterinarian (not just any vet mind you, but one who is trained in exotics, like Rats, Ferrets, and other bundles of cuteness), due to, I think, the love she has felt for these little guys.

But we just cannot handle saying goodbye to each of them after such a short time.

The first of the 'second generation' of rats we acquired just turned 2 years old in September, and I, as 'his person', am just terrified of the day when I will have to bid him farewell. It will be no less difficult to say goodbye to the other 2 rascals in our cage.

Even though our cage now has space for a 4th, we have decided not to add any additional rats. We will love our remaining colony as they journey into their twilight years, and as they pass on, one by one, our hearts will break a little more.

Instead, we are considering longer-living pets, such as a dog; once some current uncertainties are resolved, we will venture to our local shelter and adopt someone who will no doubt fill our home with love and affection, but who will also remain in our family for an extended period of time.

I'm not even sure why I made this post. I'm hoping it might be cathartic I guess.

I hate this decision. I adore our little colony, and they give me reasons to smile every time I interact with them.

But my family can't keep saying goodbye :sad3:

I really don't know how many of you do it. I thought it would get easier in time, but having just buried our 4th rat in the backyard, it isn't any easier to deal with. Taking out some grapes for the guys this morning, my wife remarked that she accidentally 'took out 4 grapes instead of 3', and that she keeps making the same mistake.

I know that it will hurt when any future pet passes away. But I know that I will only have to bid farewell to 3-4 dogs for the remainder of my life, while I will likely have to bury 3-4 rats before my daughter leaves home for university.

Again, I'm not sure why I posted this. I think it's the best decision, and I'm also pretty sure I hate it. If only these guys could live longer

 

It's always hard loosing them, but in my mind ..the love they give you in that short time is worth the pain of loosing them!

 

[Maple]

Find closure when they pass and always remember.......for everyone that passes, there are 10 more that need a good home.

 

[kscanuck785]

I think we all understand where you are coming from...
our hearts get broken everytime we say goodbye... :sad3:

but...

owning rats, or any pet for that matter, is a selfless choice, you do it for the animals, who otherwise might not have the spoiled life we, passionate pet owners, offer them. I think most of us find comfort knowing this.

you are thinking about other pets with a longer life span?
I've been a life long dog owner and loosing a pet you've had for years and shared your everyday life with, it's tremendously harder...

 

[Maple]

Oh I have to agree with kscanuck 100%. Its difficult when any of my rodent species pass, but the loss of any dog, always puts me over the edge.

 

[Cinderwolf]

I think we all understand where you are coming from...
our hearts get broken everytime we say goodbye... :sad3:

but...

owning rats, or any pet for that matter, is a selfless choice, you do it for the animals, who otherwise might not have the spoiled life we, passionate pet owners, offer them. I think most of us find comfort knowing this.

you are thinking about other pets with a longer life span?
I've been a life long dog owner and loosing a pet you've had for years and shared your everyday life with, it's tremendously harder...

I was going to say the same.. I have luckily not experienced losing one of my rats... but I have lost 2 cats and am coming towards the end of my current two's lives..

Sometimes I still stay up and cry over my lost cat, Sam. I had him my whole life and when he passed on it left a gapping hole in my heart that is still there... I know losing my rats will be hard but really I don't think it would b as hard as losing a pet that has been a part of your family for over a decade.. They turn into you children, your brothers, you best friends and losing the is like losing a part of yourself.

It is good that you want to get dogs, I love dogs, but don't be tricked into thinking it will not be as hard..

I am also glad to here you will keep your remaining colony for their life time, instead of dumping them like so many people would do, you are truly a good owner.

 

[jorats]

I think most of us here know exactly why you have come to that decision.

You need several more years of pet happiness before saying goodbye to them and rats, well, they just can't give that. Unless you come to terms with their short lives and accepting it before their passing, it will slowly drown your heart in tears. (hugs)

 

[SQ]

I understand ..... I make the same decision, not to get any more rats, after every death.
It is so heartbreaking each and every time .....
It helps me a bit to remind myself that they had a good life with me and that they would have died horribly if I hadn't rescued them.

The only reason I still have rats is because I keep hearing of rats in desperate need of help .....
I don't know how to say "No, I am not going to save your life", turn my back and walk away

I hope your family is able to adopt two dogs in need (dogs are social too)

:hugs:

 

[temblabamomo]

I can certainly understand where you're coming from. There is no shame in deciding against continuing to keep rats for that reason. Everytime I have a loss, I make the same decision, and vow to always support rat rescue with donations rather than active participation. Of course, everytime I make that decision, I inevitably end up taking in more.

I have found, at times, that newcomers often help me to heal emotionally after a loss.

But I have also recently found that some losses are just too difficult to bounce back from. I've finally realized that there comes a point where this kind of heartbreak, over and over again, can seriously screw with your head and make a person an emotional wreck.

Regardless of whether you stick with your decision about keeping rats in the future, I hope you will stick around the forum, and share stories and pictures of whatever creatures you end up looking after.

 

[Sharlees rattakisses]

I am sure that we all have felt the same way at one time or another.
I lost 7 ratties and a much loved cat last year all in a very short time.
After the last rattie died I had said I would take a break.
That lasted a month or more then came babies, Momma, and three rescues.
I have my ratties and my Nieces in my care.
14 in the summer, 11 now.
Even though they leave us far too soon I believe that the amount of unconditional love out weighs this.
I will always be kept by rats as long as there are abused, neglected rats out there to be rescued.
It hurts when they die but it hurts more not to have them in my life.
I believe that each and every rattie has a story to tell and lesson to learn.
My backyard is a final resting place for 14 ratties, 2 gerbils,1 hammie and my Jaggy bear fat cat.
I have no doubt that more will be placed there in the future.
They all touched my life in unique ways that I will cherish forever.
Give it time, you may change your mind when you realize that it's not the length of time you have with them that matters,
It's the quality of life you give to each other with the time you have been given. :hugs:

 

[Zooy]

After knowing that I would lose a bunch of rats at the same time I decided that I would take a break. We've been on that break since May and have no idea of when we'll own them again. One of the hardest decisions I've made but for right now it's the best one.

While I completely understand where you're coming from on the losing them so soon part, remember that the impact that they make on you in their short lives is worth every day with them.

 

[Joanne]

When I was down to four older rats (all almost two or older), I felt I had room for more in my double Critter Nation. But, even though I wanted to rescue some needy rats, I felt I couldn't get any old rats because my four were reaching the end of their time. So I did give four ratties a new home, but they were four baby rats, young and healthy. I figured I wouldn't have to worry about them for a while. Now, almost a year later, I just euthanized my three year old momma, and I still have one of her babies, who will be three in January. The four that I adopted are sweet, happy ratties and it's nice to see their smiling faces when you're sad about the passing of an older rat.
Take a break if you feel you need one. It's tough to lose a pet no matter what animal you take into your life, but life is that much more empty without a critter there. I tried once to live without a pet, but after a month I couldn't stand it any more!!!

 

[Godmother]

I can see why you would need a break. It is really hard to cope with a string of losses. Only time will tell whether your heart will heal enough to adopt rats again.

Give yourself lots of time

 

[henry's_mum]

for us all
:grouphug:

 

[Dahlas]

Yes we all know how you feel....I have felt the exact same way. I have only 4 rats now.....one will be 3 next month and losing her will be very hard. I remind myself their lives are short....there is nothing I can do about that except care for them and give them the BEST quality of life I can...

 

[Moon]

Lots of people take breaks from rats, for whatever reason. Many, many people go back, others move on to a different species. There's no shame in giving your heart a break.

That said, bringing a dog in to your home is wonderful but remember it is still no guarantee. A month ago I almost put down my not-quite-9 year old chihuahua. My husband and I have only had her and her brother for a year and a half. Luckily, she's still with us and doing very well but it could be for another month or two, or a few years. But not only was I shattered at the thought of putting her to sleep, but the fact that it was just so soon.

 

[turkeyspit]

Thank you all for the kind wishes and support :thumbup:

Sorry it took so long to get back to this thread, but life does that sometimes.

Yes, I agree with many of you that getting a longer lived pet (ie Dog) won't guarantee their won't be heartbreak; it will be more intense, given the length of the relationship. I can accept that, when you consider that in say, 10 years, I'll have to say goodbye to 1 companion (dog) instead of roughly 3-4 companions (rats).

Still, the other day at the Vets, my wife was in the waiting room with one of our guys on her shoulder, and everyone in the room was shocked/interested. "Is that a RAT!?". Man, I love doing that to people. I don't know why, but explaining to people just how amazing Rats are as pets, fills my heart just a wee bit. I've certainly been enriched by having rats in my life; to this day whenever my family and I are watching a TV show / movie, and a rat appears on screen, one of us shouts 'Rat cameo!'. Walking around with a Rat on my shoulder, listening to him bruxing, isn't something that can be replicated by a dog (and cats are too heavy!). And who else will groom my goatee for me?

Just to give some insights, here are pics of one our guys (I'm 'his person')

This is a pic of when we first got him (he was about 6 weeks old).

Here he is on his birthday in September, turning 2 years old! (Big, isn't he?)

Knowing I likely have only another year or so with him hurts. Sigh


Maybe one day I'll be able to go back to these guys. Certainly not going to give the cage away or anything.

Thanks again for all the support! :heart:

 

[DadRat]

And who else will groom my goatee for me?

Ha! Gregory and Quilt would do that to me when I grew the "winter beard". Feels kind of odd.

 

[mamarat]

What a sweetie! I always try NOT to think how long they have left with me, just love them day by day. But I feel your pain.

 

[jorats]

Yep, with rats don't think ahead only cherish the present.
Your boy is gorgeous and you can tell how content he is on you. so sweet.