I Owe My Mother!

[KMG365]

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
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2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
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3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
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4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
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5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
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6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
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7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
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8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
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9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
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10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
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11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
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12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
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13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
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14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
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15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
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16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
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17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
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18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
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19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
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20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
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21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
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22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
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23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
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24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
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25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.[/*:m:c5rslzap]

 

[jorats]

I have to admit, I've used quite a few of those. But my fav and the one that annoys my boys the most is: BECAUSE I SAID SO! :mrgreen:

 

[Fidget]

Oh yeah, that "Because I said so" is the laziest least logical thing I ever heard. I think it actually meant "I don't have a good reason so I won't underscore my omniscience by debating it" :giggle:

I enjoyed that list KMG365, it sure brought back memories - I saved it for my mom - who probably won't remember saying all those things but it will sure bring back memories of her parents saying it to her, I'm sure :laugh4:

 

[Moon]

LOL love it

 

[SkyHiRattiDream]

My mom says alll that, except in CHINESE!