Denny - Edit: Ceremony Details, Pg 2

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C

Cait

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2007
Messages
3,510
Location
Pasadena, CA
:sad3:

Last night my dad called me at my sister's in Iowa to tell me one of my rats was dead. It took twenty minutes to figure out who it was because they couldn't accurately describe the hood markings... But it was my Denny. My sweet, perfect, Denny. My heart. It's shattered. My Denny! He was supposed to live for so much longer, he was never supposed to go alone! And he did, he went alone, my precious boy was alone and I didn't get to say goodbye! I was supposed to take him with me on this trip and I didn't, I thought, "Well it'll just be so much more of a hassle if I do" and I should have! I should have just done it, I was so selfish... Maybe if I had he'd be alive, or it if was meant to be at least I'd have been with him. It hurts so much. It feels like I've lost a child... I can't believe this is happening to me. Denny was never supposed to die... I loved him too much for him to die and he did, and I can't stop crying. I can't stop thinking about how much I'm going to miss his sweet face, his kisses, his bruxxes... It's no secret he's my favorite. It never was. Now I can't imagine going home and looking at that cage and not seeing his face, not seeing him run and be the first to greet me and give me cuddles... I can't bear the thought of doing what I did when Preston died... Looking for him where I know he's supposed to be and then have reality come crashing down that he won't ever be there again, that I won't ever feel his fur against my cheeks or be able to pick him up and kiss his belly. It's not fair. It's so not fair. I love him! Why him? How awful is that to say, but why him?? How could he be taken away from me like that?

Denny I'm so sorry. I am so so so so so sorry! I love you more than you can ever imagine and I always will. I won't ever forget you and I will always tell people about you, I will never not remember you. I love you. I love you so much and I'm so sorry I wasn't there, I'm sorry I wasn't there like I was for so many of the others, I'm sorry I didn't get to comfort you in your last moments. If I had known I'd never have left, I promise, I would have stayed, and I would have never let you go. I love you. Thank you for choosing me to be your mommy... I am the luckiest girl in the world for having you, and I have known a heart rat and a perfect companion, my animal soul mate, because of you. I love you. I don't want you to be gone... Denny I love you. I love you. Watch over us and help my heart, please? Please let me know somehow that you are okay and that you weren't in pain. Oh god, and my Izzie, he'll be heartbroken. I have to make sure he's okay, I know he was your best best buddy... Oh what have I done to you with those stupid names?! It's like I predestined this for you... Denny I'm sorry. I'm sorry!! Come back to somehow, come back to me in another rat, come back to me I don't care how, please do it... I can't stand the thought of you leaving me!

My heart... Izzie was right, it does feel like I'm moving in slow motion. "I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to be this person." I don't know how to be Cait without my Denny... He is such a huge part of my life. I can't stand this. I can't stand this hurt. I can't do it. I'm so sorry Denny!
 
I'm so sorry Cait... my heart is breaking along with yours. Denny was one of a kind, that look... we will all miss the wonderful Denny.
 
:cry3: :cry3:

I was just about to walk out the door and head to town and now i have to sit back down and pull myself together.
Cait i know that pain, and im so so sorry you have to go through it too. I hope you can give him a memorial at your home, and say your goodbyes.

I dont know what else to say, my heart is breaking too. Can someone go to Caits sister's house and give her a hug? Virtual hugs just dont feel enough :cry3:
 
Play hard at the bridge, Denny. Play hard. :cry3: I'm sorry Cait. I really and truly am. My thoughts go out to you right now, and my prayers for Denny.
 
I saw his name and I was afriad to look at who posted it....Aww Cait hun, I am soo sorry to hear your boy passed, we all know how much you love him. I know he knew it too. Denny is happy and healthly at the bridge awaiting the day you two will meet again...

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
 
Cait, I'm so sorry about Denny, he was a very special guy :hugs: my heart too is breaking for you.
 
Oh no, Cait!! I'm so sorry for your Denny. :hugs: Don't blame yourself over his passing. He's now safe and sound at the rainbow bridge. :heart:
 
Wow when I saw the name I couldn't believe it was your Denny! I'm so sorry to hear of his passing Cait :( He was a well loved guy that's for sure and I know he knew how much you cared for him. :hugs:
 
Thank you, all. I knew if any one would understand it would be you guys. *hugs* I won't be over this ever, I don't think. I've been crying off and on all night and day.

This is the email my dad just sent me... My dad is the best dad ever. Excuse his typos, and I think people are supposed to face EAST, not West, but I'm not going to tell him that.

Caitlyn, We just finished Denny's Ceremony. I took a couple of photos. Would you like me to send them to you ??

I built him a very nice coffin and lined it with a washcloth. I painted it black so the it would match the headstone. The headstone tuned out very nice (I thought). I painted one of the pink bricks black, and then used my Dremmel Tool and some small stones to write in:

DENNY BAINUM RIP
FEB 09

PART OF MY Eulagy: Denny was a great American. I thought so. I enjoyed his attitude, and I liked him better than the rest of the rats. I liked the fact that something smaller than me wasnt scared of me. I liked that he would climb on anyone, and wasnt scared of anything. THAT made him a leader in my book. Because the other rats wanted to be like Denny because they couldn't BE Denny.

Ceremony Continued: Denny's Ceremony was partially military influenced, because I felt that it was fitting. He was a natural leader, and I thought that he deserved an element of that respect. I draped his coffin in one of the American Flags from the computer desk. Put him in the back of the truck, and drove him to the back yard. I thought that the area behind the houses that nobody uses was peaceful for him, and close enough for you. A comfort item that I hope you appreciate. I placed him in the grave, with his head pointed west. Just like humans in a grave yard. I folded the flag graveside, and will leave it in your room on the bed.

I will place it on top of the latest edition of the Entertainment Weekly magazine. The cover is more than fitting, and it arrived today. The actor that played Denny in Grey's is on the cover from that new movie "Watchmen". No, I can not remember his name, and I am not going to cheat and look it up. Thought that would put a smile on your face ........ EW.com if you want to look it up. I will let you go for now. I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!! DADDY- O
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*cries* He's the best... And it was so fitting for my Denny. He deserved the best.
 
:cry3: I'm so sorry Cait. We all know that Denny was your heart. We're here for you always. :hugs:
 

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