College... AH!

[Cait]

:confused2:

Don't make me go!! You guys won't, will you? Ahhh thanks. I feel better now. :clapping:

On a serious note.. I start college on the 27th of August.. And I move into the dorms the 23rd... I'm not excited. My parents are moving to Kansas the 16th, and then coming back here to help me move into the dorms... Then they are gone again! But I'm rooming with my best friend, so... That makes it a bit better. I think? Or worse? I'm nervous about the whole thing, about living with her, about the school work, about the campus, about finding a new job, about everything... I wish I was a bum, then no one would expect me to go. I think it's too late for that, though. :?

What sucks most is NO PETS. But, I have foster homes for my babies, I am not worried about that at all, except my bunnies, I'm in a bind with them right now. I just have to live with seeing my babies weekends and having them over holidays, instead of everyday. Well, I can take my fish, but I have to get it into my friend's head that NO fish should live in a little 1 gallon tank. I don't want to burst her bubble, she is so excited about these tanks she bought for me and my other friend... I don't want to have to tell her that my BP is NOT going to live in one of those. :/ Anyway... That's a horse of a different color all together.

I don't know. Do you guys have any tips on how not to become homesick/petsick for my family and babies? Or about living in a small small dorm with someone else? Any personal stories or experiences you guys can share? Anything to help ease this quakey feeling I get in my belly thinking about the 23rd. :sad:

 

[jorats]

Wish I could give you some advice but I'm the one that left college to start a family. :?
But I can say, I think you are choosing the better path. Today, I wish I had waited and gone to college, have a real career and then start a family.

 

[Shelley]

I was living in a small basement apartment with two roomates for the past 8 months (Well, before I moved back in April when school finished). I only got to see my pets on weekends, which was really hard for me. I felt like I missed so much, and having my dog around for 2 days a week only was tough.

It depends on your roommate as well, the one girl I was living with I couldn't stand. She drove me insane. We couldn't have conversations, she was too bubbly and didn't watch what she said. She'd often offend us without meaning too, and always seemed to be in the bathroom at the worst moments :roll:. Luckily she moved out before Christmas, and just the two of us were left for the second semester. We got along great, and made it a habit to watch Buffy and Angel Seasons on DVD :lol: We kept the apartment clean and never had any problems, but it was a lot of fun.

The first few months felt strange, and it took some adjusting. Even though I missed them horribly, and did feel lonely often, it was worth it. Just the experience of being away from home and having to be more independent made me change a lot. Although some things not for the best (stress eating!). I wouldn't say my experience was bad, but you learn to treasure every moment with your pets and family that you do have. I put pictures of all my pets on the walls, and everynight before I went to bed I'd look at the photos.

Unfortunately though, I decided not to go back to college in the Fall. The program and career I was aiming for just didn't feel right. Not everyone changes though, and I hope what your going in for works out for you! It'll be a lot of fun, and I know I met sooo many great people at school.

 

[Cait]

Jo, I honestly think I was going down that path, of starting a family in leui of going to college, but, as things turned out, I'm no longer in that position. It's bittersweet, I suppose. I'm too young for marriage anyway, at this point.

Shelley, you made me feel a bit better. It's going to be hard not seeing my cats and my dog any time I want, but, they'll only be an hour away.. Same with my hamsters and horse and mice. And pictures, how could I forget those?? I'll see what I can do about a collage of pictures so I won't miss their faces, at least. And aren't I always complaining about my family? :roll: A little independence never hurt anyone. I suppose?

My roommate is an AWESOME person (the one we planned that birthday trail ride for). I'm confident that'll work out, but I don't want our friendship to change any or get sick of each other. I'm just a bit worried about having little to no privacy, and there are some details of my life and sleep habits I haven't disclosed to her that she's going to find out the hard way, like the night terrors and such.

I'm sure I'm overreacting about the coursework... I love the subject, I've always excelled in the people sciences. I'm going to major in Sociology, and minor in Spanish, with plans to be a social worker. I know, "Do I want to spend the rest of my life in debt?!" as a friend says... but I think it'll be worthwhile, and I can see myself doing that everyday without getting sick of it.

 

[Bronwyn]

Ohh Cait if only you knew what was in store for you! My first year of university was my favourite and it was because of residence! I had a single room but if you're living with your best friend that's pretty cool. Just be sure to branch out, as there are so many amazing people to meet. The past few years I've been living with the same three girls and that's the closest experience I have to rooming with someone. We were wonderful together I'd count one fight per year. Just keep the communication lines open between the two of you so nothing builds up. Set boundaries or things you want her to know but..a best friend likely knows most of this.

Secondly, I found I worked LESS in first year than my grad year at high school. Granted I was having too much fun. Still, I pulled off some decent marks. And it's often fun to make study groups with bunches of people in your classes.

Pets! You can pull it off. Seriously. I had a mouse for a few days before he died then I had my parents drive out my rat because I missed her too much. Now, Cody was a special rat in that she hardly chewed things she wasn't supposed to. So I had a hamster cage for her to keep her in at night (waking up with a rat sleeping on you isn't always fun, haha) that I hid in the closet for when the don walked in. Other than at night she was totally free range and I had zero problems. You just need to make sure your floormates are on board with this because they will find out, at least really likely to. I was lucky and the 20 people just adored her and would visit my room often to borrow her to play with, lol. You do need a degree of sneakiness to deal with food and smell and cleaning cage time but it's all doable.

If this is not possible, just make sure there are visits to and from home. I personally was thrilled about not being home and didn't experience this problem but my floormates who did just phoned home every day. It does apparently wear off and you soon think of it as your own home

Since I'm taking the slow route as I'm 22 and still doing my undergrad, feel free to ask anything as I'm going through this stage now.

P.S. I'll adopt any mice you may not have room for ;D

 

[Bati]

I had my own room, but shared the kitchen / bathroom with 17 boys, it was as dirty as it sounds, I missed my dogs horrible, but I went to see them every weekend. And being close to uni made it more concentrated to study. Studying is fun and I could do it forever, but it's hard to be on your own, just remember, so many have managed before you and all in your class are having the same difficulties as you are :wink:

 

[Bronwyn]

LOL. For us, the boys were cleaner! O.O We shared our kitchen, and bathroom. : x

 

[Cait]

CLEAN boys, Bron?? Sophmore year me, Amanda, our friend Alden, and John are going to live together, and I can see us two girls cleaning everything and not being a major source of mess, ha ha!! Alden especially, he's messy. :shock:

Just be sure to branch out, as there are so many amazing people to meet

We already have plans for that one... We're baking brownies and delivering them to all the girls on our floor. Sort of like you're supposed to do with new neighbors. If they don't think we're weird, it should break some ice. Then the 25th, we're hosting Aaliyah Day in our dorm... Might bring in a few people... Or, they will think we are stranger. :lol:

I'll try out the study groups... Hopefully I can make some friends who are studying the same thing I am.

Bron, I contemplated keeping my 3 hamsters in the closet... They don't smell and they only NEED their cage cleaned about once a month if you use aspen. I'm still secretly contemplating it... They can't kick us out of the dorm if they find out, because it's their rule that says I HAVE to live in the dorms. I think I'll bring this up to Amanda and see what she says, if she'd be willing to do that. :twisted:

just remember, so many have managed before you and all in your class are having the same difficulties as you are

Bati, that is really good advice. I will really try to keep that in mind.

Thanks all of you for all your advice so far! It's helping me calm down about it.

:grouphug2:

 

[Bronwyn]

As much fun as I'm having in university now I'd just love to go back to first year, lol. The brownies are a great idea Everyone's going to be shy, scared, etc etc so icebreakers are great. And not the lame kind dons make you do like name games, haha.

The best thing about study groups is not only do you meet new people but people who share an interest with you.

Oh I forgot something: about housing. I know you have a plan but plans often change. Just keep your head low when people are sorting out who's living with who. I managed to get stuck between two different groups and by choosing one I lost the other completely. It hurt a lot, and unfortunately is common. So if I could go back and do something over again it would be that - just let everyone sort themselves out and let things fall into place naturally.

 

[Cait]

I'm hoping it'll be mostly freshman on our floor, which would make sense because they only make you stay there your first year, and the cost of living in Maryville is VERY low. So there should be a lot of people who are in the same boat. Well, most of them.

There is a person who is from Columbia, SC, which is where I used to live before here, who is going to school there.. I'm trying to find out who it is, perhaps I know them! That would be so cool and weird at the same time.

Yeah, this is the 3rd time this plan has changed. :lol: We just had a drawn out discussion about if we still planned on living together our sophmore year, because now Alden is not going to the same college, so it'd just be the 3 of us. So far so good... But as the year progresses I'm not going to bring it up again until they do, just in case when the time comes they (or me!) don't want to get a house together.

I'm finally almost done packing... well ok not really. I still have to get sheets, new pillows, some new clothes... And I still have a lot of laundry to sort through, but I'm doing that after I come back from my sister's house. Eee!

 

[Fidget]

I don't know how you could not be homesick/petsick. But that's ok, better you have loves you miss than no loves you miss. You'll survive it and have fun and be able to miss college one day down the road too.

 

[Bronwyn]

I'm so excited for you, Cait! That's a really smart idea too, just to not mention it and let it come up on its own. There's so much time between now and when you'll be hunting for a house/apartment and so much changing and cool stuff will be going on in that time.

If you can, try and move into your room the night before I did that by accident, lol. My dad and I were staying at a local B&B and decided to wander around Waldron Tower, my res building. Well the girl at the front desk said we could move stuff in if we wanted to. She was supposed to charge us but didn't. Anyway, I met one guy who did the same that night (we're still friends!) in this huge building of 11 floors. It was a little amusing seeing allll the parents and kids the next morning lining up to access the two elevators to move in, hehe. Yeah I'm mean.

So yeah. Moving in early helps stress AND you can break the ice by helping others move in the next day. People always need scissors during that time too, haha.

Keep that dorm room door open too.

I was too shy to go explore but the first person to poke her head in and introduce herself ended up being one of my housemates for the rest of uni You never know who you'll meet, leaving the door (metaphor or not) open

 

[Scary Harry]

My best answer is to tell you to get involved in some club/organization so that you develop friendships and camaraderie. That way, even if you and your roommate have "difficulties" you will have another place and group of people to hang out with.

Also, keep in mind that even if you are on a freshmen floor, they will likely be several years younger than you and they may be turning to you as a "mom" figure since you are so wise in years! Another thing is to have lots of pictures from home and of your pets and friends placed all around your room.

As for the pets, the first weekend my daughter came home, Gunner, our German shepherd, knocked her over at the door and was standing over her licking her face. I would say he missed her as much as she missed him.

Good luck and know that you will be making memories to last a lifetime!

 

[Bronwyn]

Omigosh great advice.

I didn't join any clubs/organizations my first year as I felt I had enough on my plate. But in second year when I no longer was in a residence I joined the dance and riding clubs and met so many wonderful friends!

I'll note here that I never took dance before university. I didn't like ballet and that's the only thing my mum knew about. So when I started jazz and hip hop it was a thrill. Use it to try something you wanted to but never did.

As for riding, my parents wouldn't let me take lessons (fear of me getting hurt, expense, time taken to get to shows, etc) so...I was over the moon to finally learn English (I only rode Western on cattle drives).

 

[Cait]

Awesome advice! I swear, you guys are more comforting and give better advice than many of my RL friends. *hugs you all*

Everyone else is just so excited and can't wait to go. Only... 21 more days. :shock: AHHH!! I want to move in early, and I applied to. They just have so many things for us to do that weekend, I guess to distract us. :/

I was thinking about joining the equestrian team, which is of the western discipline. I really would love to, but I don't want to overwhelm myself. I think I'll check it out and see what happens. I'd love to be able to take my horse up there with me.

Remind me I need to get a lot of hand sanitizer. Random thought, sorry.

 

[Melissa]

You may want to go now, but you will be relieved to get out of there after it's over, lol!

 

[Bronwyn]

Equestrian team? You lucky Americans!

Frosh week IS busy. But remember it's voluntary. They design it so you can meet a lot of people while having fun. In our case one of the days consisted of mud fights Best day ever! But I also knew when to just sleep in and take a break, haha.

Also...yes they take attendance the first day but after that, feel free to switch groups! No one cares, and you meet more that way!

 

[Ashley]

Cait, I am in a similar position! I am starting a new program (1 yr program) and I am soo nervous! I spent the last year doing college prep courses there, but it was a special building and never interacted with the other parts of the college and i feel lost already! I am staying in my moms basement so my critters live with me and its only two bus rides away to the college. yay! free housing and hopefully access to her car
I have no idea where to start, I dropped out of high school and after a few years of struggling I took adult ed courses then this college prep thing, so I feel out of place already starting with such YOUNG kids.
I am terrified of groups of new people, and have to admit I think things are easier in dorms because your spending more time with the other students and get to know them faster.
They have some orientation stuff happening ahead of time, but I think I'd be too nervous to go not knowing ANYONE. I am not good at first intros so I will just wait till I get to classes to meet people. I still have a ton to do before classes start on the 4th, I don't know how they do scheduals and booklists and I havent recieved anything yet so I will have to call and ask how things are done.
I hope things go well for you Cait, and if you need someone to suffer with I am here

 

[Cait]

LOL, Melissa, I'm still not excited, I'm more at peace with the decision, LMAO. Not really happy about it, but... Gotta do what you gotta do!

Bron, they don't have equestrian teams up there??? :shock: I really am not excited about the freshman "advantage" week. We have to do a few things that ARE mandatory, but a lot aren't, so. I'll just drag Amanda with me wherever we/she wants to go.

Ashley, I feel for you, I really do. You don't know anybody? Sometimes, I think that is better, you kind of get to reinvent yourself and no one knows the wiser... Think losing old (annoying) nicknames, embarrassing events, and the like. I have gone to a lot of schools, and most where I didn't know a soul. What I always do/did was just walk up to someone who didn't look quite in place, and start up a conversation, like about a class or the weather or maybe ask them if they know any good Chinese food places. Natural conversation usually follows that. Then if you BOTH are new, you can tagalong together and meet other people, it's easier with two. I hope everything goes well for you, too, and kudos for continuining your education. *claps for you*

 

[Bati]

The Danish intro-week includes mostly getting drunk and then getting naked - then you have something to talk about and will bond easyly they say. I never went feel jealous that you have funny things to do besides studying, we don't have that.

Still if I won the lottery, I'd stop working and go back to uni to study for the rest of my life :wink: