Attikis is still going

[bruxxy]

My boy Attikis is at that terrible stage where he is so old that he doesn't move(back legs don't work at all), barely eats and I have to do EVERYTHING for him. It sucks.

I love him so much but this has been going on for a while now and its hard to deal with. I'm sooooo busy right now with exams and I'm graduating which means I have a bunch of stuff to get done before the year is over...plus I work. So I never have enough time to spend with him and I feel bad. Its like he's stuck in this stage and just won't pass on. Everyday for the past 2 weeks I have said "this has got to be his last day","there is no way he can go on like this".

I have had many many rats but I have never dealt with this before. Either my rats passed without problems or they were sick and had to be PTS. I have concidered having Atty PTS but I don't truly think he is suffering or sick....just really really old and his body is slooooooooooowly shutting down. Having him PTS would go against my views since I really only think rats should be PTS if they are suffering.

I would really like feed back from people who have dealt with this kind of situation before. Whats the best way to care for him? do you think he might be suffering without showing it?

 

[twitch]

suffering does not just mean physically. you know your rat. you know his personality. would he want to keep going slowly being more and more trapped in his body?

i had to make a decision like this when i put Snicketts down. she had a tumor and it felt difficult. we could have done an operation, we could have tried steriods. but already snicketts personal quality of life was infringed just by the lump being there. this was a rat that i would have sworn was autistic. even a few degrees difference in the room and she would get cranky. i lived my life to a strict schedule, trying not to deviate even a minute. this proved very difficult as i had an infant son at the time that required a lot of my time. often i would slip and she would get upset. there was a time when she had gotten sick and we had to medicate. she was absolutely miserable. there was a change to her schedule and though it included extra attention she hated having it. you could feel the sadness and anger and general distress just radiating off of her. and you would have thought she would adjust to the new schedule as she had to have the meds for 4 weeks. she never did. all through that time (even though i was very precise to get everything done at the exact same time each time) she was absolutely miserable. nothing made her happy until the meds were over and she was back to her old routine. so when the lump was discovered, i chose not to fight it. it would have been a long process and she would have suffered emotionally. she may have had to be on steriods until the end and that would not have been what she wanted. the presence of the lump was already making her crabby and it was still only dime sized. i don't think she would have done well with an operation and being on meds was almost like torture to her. physically she was not suffering, emotionally she would have and was beginning. it hurt, in 2 weeks she was the fourth for me to have lost. but she would not have wanted treatment. she would not be happy.

on the reverse i have taken in rats that were physically suffering but i knew they wanted to fight more. rosie would have stayed until her body gave up completely, i know she would have. but she could hardly eat anymore and was likely to starve herself to death. Myght would have smiled and kissed me right up until her heart stopped fighting with her malignant cancer, but her body was wasted and she needed help with every little thing. for a rat that was as free and independant as her, and for the pain i knew she had to be going through i didn't let her stay. i couldn't let either of them do that to themselves.

a body is only a degrading container for the soul. the soul is what makes anyone who they are and it doesn't need a body to exist only to tie it to the earth for that time. when the body is failing and the soul begins to suffer for it, its time to let the soul free to find a new fresh body. not always is the soul and body in agreement to when they need to part. for snicketts, her soul was ready before her body was completely used up. for rosie and myght their body was completely wasted and nothing more then a prison but their soul was strong and didn't want to let go yet. sometimes as a rat mom, you have to make those decisions for them. sometimes you have to give them a little push on their way to new life. and it hurts, but its the right thing to do. love them while they are there, and love them when they are gone and maybe they will find their way back to you.

its a hard decision to make, but you know atticus best. he sounds like he's lingering. does he really want to?

 

[bruxxy]

maybe I should get him PTS. I don't think its normal for him to be lingering like this. I would like to think he is happy but now I'm not so sure.

I always thought Attikis would have the ideal death...like he would just go to sleep and not wake up or something. He's never been sick and the only issue has been his hind legs in the past 2 months. I think that if he still had use of them he would still be going strong.

 

[twitch]

you know attikis best. is he more like snicketts and would not be happy this way or is he more like rosie and myght and would want to hang in there until his body completely falls apart?

but you also know your limitations and that should be taken into consideration. given what you can realistically provide for him, would he be happy that way? you can't forget your own role in this too. you are his mom and want only the best for him. you don't want him to suffer, but you are not a superhero either. you are a person with committments to not only attikis but the other rats and other people and responsibilities. if attikis were a human child there would be other support structures to rely on like nursing care and homes and rehab and the like. but that is not in place for pets. what is, is the gentle passing that is denied to humans. i'm not sure which is better off personally.

:hugs: this is a hard time. though the government doesn't have support for pet parents, you are supported here in whatever you decide needs to be done. we understand. we're there for you.

 

[bruxxy]

awww thats for the kind words twitch :heart:

I guess I'll see how the next few days go. i think if he's still around next week i'll have him PTS. Its so expensive and although I hate to let money interfere with my ratties welfare, I'm just hoping I won't have to spend 100$ to have him PTS. I wish vet care wasn't so damn expensive!!! :rant:

 

[twitch]

$100 for PTS!?!? holy crap! the most i paid because it was during emergency hours was $40. yeesh! have you called to other clinics? just about all of them will do it, all you have to do is tell them how you want it done.

 

[jorats]

I currently have two old boys, they are both 38 months old and still going strong. They can hardly move, their back legs don't work, i do have to clean them... but they do enjoy their food, they do enjoy each other and they love the cuddles from me.
I would never think of having them put to sleep. I believe they tell us when they are ready. I'll know when mine stop eating, stop dragging themselves to the door when they hear my voice. But I truly hope they pass on their own. PTS by the vet is really a last resort for me, and only if rats are suffering.

Give Attikis an extra cuddle for me!! :heart: I really do love the older rats.