Sorry for my lack of updates. Plum began responding to the dips and antibiotics for the first few days then she started getting bad again. I continued with the dip once a week with no avail. Granted they said it could take a while I was still worried. The dips stressed her out tremendously and in return made me a nervous wreak, I felt like such a failure. Nothing I was doing was helping her. :'( It was during this time that I began to notice small lumps. More vets visits later .... my baby girl was riddled with cancer as well as a few very fast growing tumors. I took her in to see the vet last week to discuss surgery and ended up having to make the hardest decision of my life. I always told myself that if any of my babies, be it Plum or one of my dogs, ever got to the point where they were in pain and suffering and there was nothing that could be done that I wouldn't make them continue to go through it. I refuse to be a selfish pet owner that doesn't love their pet enough to do what's right FOR them. Well, when faced with that decisions, no matter how hard you think it's going to be, it's 100 times harder. I did the right thing for HER. When faced with the facts I made the only decision I could out of my love for HER. I'll share what I wrote the next day:
"On the way to the vet today I kept telling myself that maybe they hadn't done it yet. Maybe I'd get there and Plum would still be alive. I told myself that if she was I would bring her back home with me, alive. That I would wait until she got worse, that I would give myself more time with her first. I knew that would be selfish, but I just wanted her back.
I walked in and told the lady behind the desk that I was there for her and then... hesitantly, I asked if she could let me know if they already did it. Soon the lady that I talked with yesterday walked through the door with Plum's traveling cage and a box. The box that held my sweet rat's remains. Yesterday I was just taking her to the vet and today I'm picking up her body. I wasn't prepared for this. Not that any of us are ever prepared for death. This decision was the first of it's kind I've ever made. It was a very hard decision, but when faced with her getting worse and really beginning to hurt, it was the only one that felt right. I loved her too much to ever have to see her going through that.
I felt the air swoosh out of my lungs and a lump form in my throat as I gazed at the box. As we put the cage and "the box" into my car the lady kept saying how sorry she was. I didn't know what to say. I was fighting back the tears and trying not to be an emotional, blubbering mess. I looked down at "the box" then said to her, "It's not your fault." Then I got in my car and sobbed.
As I drove off I reached over and placed my hand on her box. "Momma has you now, you're going home." I whispered. I kept seeing these flashes of her and all of the cute little things she use to do. When I got home I dug a hole for her then wrapped her in a blanket I'd crocheted. I put her into a smaller, prettier box, then took her back out. I held her and stroked her back one last time and told her how very sorry I was and how much I loved her. I placed her back inside the box and buried her.
Yes, Plum was a rat and yes, you may think this is ridiculous, but to me Plum was one of my children. Though only with me for a little over a year, she was a piece of my heart. It was my job to protect and care for her and I feel like maybe I failed her. No matter what though I know that she knew how every loved she was."
The very next day a client of mine got with me about needing to find a home for her two girl ratties. She's to be moving in a month and cannot take them with her as she's moving in with family to save money for her and her child to eventually buy a home. She was out of options other than craigslist at this point and was afraid that someone getting them from there would use them as feeders. I spoke with my husband and we decided to take them. I wasn't sure when however, just before the end of next month.
I left Plum's cage untouched for days. I kept staring at it and imagining that she was still there. After several days I realized that my life would never be the same without a rat. Yesterday I finally cleaned the cage and got it ready for the girls. I kept a box of tissues beside me while I cleaned, but it wasn't nearly as sad as I imagined it was going to be. I had this feeling that Plum was happy with what I was doing, that she was glad that I was rescuing this two little girls because of her. I felt that she would have wanted them to get the love and attention that I have to give them.
When meet up to get the girls I had all sorts of emotions. Was I doing the right thing... was I really ready for another rat, much less two? What if they get sick? Plum was the first rat I'd ever had, so I have nothing to compare with. As soon as I saw them however any doubt that I may have had vanished. Since I've kept Plum's cage we are going to combine the two large cages to give them a huge castle... and I'm crocheting a lovely pink bed for them. I've had them for less than 24 hours. They're doing great, and now that I have a comparison I realize just how sick Plum had gotten.
They will never replace my girl, but I love them just as much only in a different way. The three of us played for almost an hour this morning inside and I let them explore the screen porch for a while this afternoon. I've got some potty training to do with them, but it's worth the work.
Thank you everyone for being "there" and helping me out during these months of Plum's sickness. It means a great deal to me. <3 I'm sending love out to you all!
They weren't very familiar to their names so we've changed them and I'm teaching their new ones to them! The girls:
Sillybrains who is now Darby
Zombie who is now Marley
Together
"On the way to the vet today I kept telling myself that maybe they hadn't done it yet. Maybe I'd get there and Plum would still be alive. I told myself that if she was I would bring her back home with me, alive. That I would wait until she got worse, that I would give myself more time with her first. I knew that would be selfish, but I just wanted her back.
I walked in and told the lady behind the desk that I was there for her and then... hesitantly, I asked if she could let me know if they already did it. Soon the lady that I talked with yesterday walked through the door with Plum's traveling cage and a box. The box that held my sweet rat's remains. Yesterday I was just taking her to the vet and today I'm picking up her body. I wasn't prepared for this. Not that any of us are ever prepared for death. This decision was the first of it's kind I've ever made. It was a very hard decision, but when faced with her getting worse and really beginning to hurt, it was the only one that felt right. I loved her too much to ever have to see her going through that.
I felt the air swoosh out of my lungs and a lump form in my throat as I gazed at the box. As we put the cage and "the box" into my car the lady kept saying how sorry she was. I didn't know what to say. I was fighting back the tears and trying not to be an emotional, blubbering mess. I looked down at "the box" then said to her, "It's not your fault." Then I got in my car and sobbed.
As I drove off I reached over and placed my hand on her box. "Momma has you now, you're going home." I whispered. I kept seeing these flashes of her and all of the cute little things she use to do. When I got home I dug a hole for her then wrapped her in a blanket I'd crocheted. I put her into a smaller, prettier box, then took her back out. I held her and stroked her back one last time and told her how very sorry I was and how much I loved her. I placed her back inside the box and buried her.
Yes, Plum was a rat and yes, you may think this is ridiculous, but to me Plum was one of my children. Though only with me for a little over a year, she was a piece of my heart. It was my job to protect and care for her and I feel like maybe I failed her. No matter what though I know that she knew how every loved she was."
The very next day a client of mine got with me about needing to find a home for her two girl ratties. She's to be moving in a month and cannot take them with her as she's moving in with family to save money for her and her child to eventually buy a home. She was out of options other than craigslist at this point and was afraid that someone getting them from there would use them as feeders. I spoke with my husband and we decided to take them. I wasn't sure when however, just before the end of next month.
I left Plum's cage untouched for days. I kept staring at it and imagining that she was still there. After several days I realized that my life would never be the same without a rat. Yesterday I finally cleaned the cage and got it ready for the girls. I kept a box of tissues beside me while I cleaned, but it wasn't nearly as sad as I imagined it was going to be. I had this feeling that Plum was happy with what I was doing, that she was glad that I was rescuing this two little girls because of her. I felt that she would have wanted them to get the love and attention that I have to give them.
When meet up to get the girls I had all sorts of emotions. Was I doing the right thing... was I really ready for another rat, much less two? What if they get sick? Plum was the first rat I'd ever had, so I have nothing to compare with. As soon as I saw them however any doubt that I may have had vanished. Since I've kept Plum's cage we are going to combine the two large cages to give them a huge castle... and I'm crocheting a lovely pink bed for them. I've had them for less than 24 hours. They're doing great, and now that I have a comparison I realize just how sick Plum had gotten.
They will never replace my girl, but I love them just as much only in a different way. The three of us played for almost an hour this morning inside and I let them explore the screen porch for a while this afternoon. I've got some potty training to do with them, but it's worth the work. Thank you everyone for being "there" and helping me out during these months of Plum's sickness. It means a great deal to me. <3 I'm sending love out to you all!
They weren't very familiar to their names so we've changed them and I'm teaching their new ones to them! The girls:
Sillybrains who is now Darby
Zombie who is now Marley
Together
