Am I the only one...?

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I would lose my temper if someone showed me videos of rats being eaten by snakes. I dread to think what I would do. I too had to cut ties with someone because she made jokes about her brothers comments of letting his cats into the house to kill them when she told her brother I had rats. But yet, she had been all over my ratties loving them and having her pics taken with them before she was influenced by her horrible brother. It totally runined our friendship because it hurt me so bad. I felt humiliated even though I knew the fault was with her. She thought it was funny.

I too just want to cry and often regret looking up cute ratties on youtube. You can accidentally see some images and words that stay with you and things you can't get out of your head. Really dark things and it's pretty traumatic for me. I just feel so incredibly sad that anyone could hurt a beautiful, helpless little animal like that. I struggle with this and sometimes these images keep me awake at night. I'm trying to work on ways of coping with it and blocking it out. When I turned vegetarian 5 years ago, it's like a veil was lifted and I've seen somethings you can't 'unsee' whilst I was in transition. Some things that will stop me eating meat forever. Although I feel very blessed that I know the truth, I've become really sensitive towards the suffering of animals. I know how you feel and it's good (not in that way but you know what I mean) to know that I'm not alone. There is another army out there - an army of people that cherish and respect the lives and welfare of animals and are always very kind to them. I always try to hold onto that. I like to think that God pretects the animals - in that, what looks awful to us is not necessarily a fact of what's going on inside. I'm a firm believer that God doesn't let them suffer in the way that it looks on outside. I think that he spares them.
 
A week from today I'm going to start my rat mom journey with 5-6 week old females! I haven't picked them out yet so I don't have pics he's got different coats and colors so I'm not going in biased. It might even be 100
 
Idk why the rest of my post cut off but anyway

Our ac doesn't work great any ideas how to make the journey for them less warm and less stressful?
 
Roll the window down perhaps? That or keep a chilled/frozen water bottle with you if it's a really hot day that they can lie beside or lick when they want to cool off.

I sort of don't get phased with pictures of seeing rats eaten any more, I've seen so many that it's sort of one of those things I glaze over. I understand that keeping a snake means you have to feed it rats/mice (though I wished most people wouldn't use live) I can't really stop that and all animals need to eat. Though I do think that snakes shouldn't be kept as pets as often they don't have the space they deserve to be kept in captivity. Insensitive jokes from strangers I don't get too offended by since I know they were probably brought up to think rats were disgusting. My mother for example would love to tell me every day that my rats have the plague, they made me ill, they're disgusting, let our cat eat it etc etc etc. (gladly I moved out, that and our cat couldn't even eat a fly :roll: ). I DID get hurt and offended when a friend of 2 years that I thought I could trust, and told them how depressed I had been about my rat having PT would make such insensitive jokes and a mockery of my love for rats, that stung.
I don't know what people expect to get out of you when they show you things they KNOW would upset you. Some people get off at other's misfortune or maybe they feel like they're doing you a favour and showing you the 'light' of how 'disgusting' rats are. I understand people who think pets as lower priority. As a kid I wasn't raised well with animals, I didn't understand how to treat animals like family members, though you could put that fault on my parents not teaching me correctly. Of course I grew out of that, smarten up and realized that animals are part of the family no matter what they are. When I bought my first pair of rats, (a present from my boyfriend) we called them our sons and I think that really put things in perspective for me.

Maybe I'm too forgiving, but jokes towards me about rat poison and giving my rats away sort of glaze over me. I know there are close friends of mine who know exactly how I feel about my rats. While other's just think I'm a crazy rat lady, and probably that's why they joke at my expense.

Sorry for the rambling, I've been needing to get this off my chest I guess.
 
Zephye, I totally understand about needing to get those things off your chest, and this is a great forum for doing that...with people who love animals and have an especially warm place in their hearts for our beloved rat children. So, I hear you and I know exactly how you feel. :cuddle:

Claireybell, you and I seem to have something in common and yes, it is good to know that there are others out there like myself who have a very heightened sensitivity when it comes to animal cruelty and abuse.

When my husband and I went vegan a year and a half ago, that sensitivity quadrupled as I learned about what really goes on in factory farms with dairy cows, beef cows, chickens, pigs, the whole lot. I too have problems with keeping images in my head that I cannot stop thinking about and it about drives me mad with despair and sadness.

Claireybell, I also wish I could find a way to block stuff like this out, the same as you. I have issues with keeping those things out of my head sometimes. If you ever get a good tip or some therapeutical help on this, please feel free to share it with me, because I still have to work on this every day! :(

SO, I have to be very careful about trying not to expose myself to images or video or anything on that topic. (and yes, that includes ALL animals including of course, rats and all the other critters out there) My husband even tries to protect me from things like that as he knows I would bawl like a baby and be depressed over it for weeks. So, I feel for you and I understand exactly how you feel.

Heck, I can barely even stand to see some of the photos people post on the rat forum showing some horrible small and filthy hamster cage full of rats, or horrible living conditions of rescue rats before they were rescued and things like that, even though I know the rats had a happy ending in a good home. It is those "before" photos that make me sad. It makes me tear up.

I even volunteer for a couple of local animal rights groups in Seattle by leaving flyers around at supermarkets, libraries, public malls, etc, but I cannot even LOOK inside them because I know the images would haunt me and upset me too much.

Here is something that will make you feel good, about not being alone with your sensitivity. When I talked to the coordinator at one of the animal rights groups and explained that I get so disturbed and sad seeing horrible photos of animal abuse in the flyers, I asked him if it was still okay for me to leave the flyers out for others who probably don't know about these horrors, and the coordinator made me feel so good by telling me that I am not the only one that gets that way. They have had plenty of folks that are very sensitive like me. So it made me feel like I was not the only one that felt this way!

Anyhoo, enough of my rambling...I just wanted you and others who may be on this forum that you are not the only ones who get depressed and very upset over the cruelty of humans towards animals.

Animals are so innocent and vulnerable at the hands of us humans so to me, they are the ones who really need so much help from kind humans, to speak for them and to help and defend them. All species on this planet deserve kindness. Okay, I guess I am done. Sorry for the long rambling post!:heart:
 
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Vladlina - that was a lovely post. I truly do understand absolutely everything you are saying. It's like reading about myself! I get emails from Peta and petitions that I sign and forward onto others, but my heart sinks when they come through as I'm literally terrified to open the email incase there is an image I won't be able to handle. And I can't handle it at all. My stomach does somersaults and I feel panicky, depressed and then intense anger and despair. I can often wake up in the middle of the night with flashbacks and wanting to cry, it's awful! It plays on my mind before bed and makes me go off my food if I hear a horrible story in the news or something. It's like, there's just no way to make it right in my mind. Sometimes, it just overwhelms me when I think of all the killing, all the restaurants, all the factories and it just doesn't stop. It keeps on and on and on for them and it's everywhere and it has been for so long and will continue to be. It seems like madness that most of the world can't see - they are blind to it! It's not easy knowing the truth and not being able to explain the truth to others. Even those closest to you. It's puts a feeling of separation between me and my friends and it's hard. And I know deep down inside that I'm not mentally or physically capable of being an activist or doing anything that those amazing activists do for the animals because I can't cope with hearing the sad stories. It puts me in a state of desolation. Mostly I just want start worldwide campaigns, marches, nationwide petitions and protest and rally up the animal loving troups lol! I feel that anger spurring me on at times.

When I first watched Earthlings (was sent to me by my vegetarian uncle - this is what tipped me over the edge to stop eating animals) I just cried and cried and stayed in bed for days. My partner was really worried about me. I don't drink milk anymore and I only buy freerange eggs, I'm also careful about not buying things like leather, cruelty free products etc.

It feels really good to get this off my chest, thank you!

I will defo share any wisdom I find on this tough topic for us if I come across anything that could help us. I do like to pray about it though. Here's a thought, if you ever get in a spot of trouble or I see something that makes me feel ill, maybe we can think of each other and draw strength from our common love and respect of the animals :cuddle:
 
Aww, Clairey, that sounds like a great idea. :)

Next time I get in a sad way, I will try to draw strength from my cyber sister Clairey and stay strong. Super, I will do that! :)

I cannot watch Earthlings as I have heard others who know me say, "Oh my god, Vlad, that movie will absolutely ruin you emotionally, it is so horrible, please do NOT watch it." and I know that I can never see it or hear anything about it.

I also feel the same symptoms you described when I see something bad related to animals...panicky, fast heartbeat, mouth goes dry, sinking feeling in my stomach, a lump rising in my throat and that feeling of, "how can people possibly do this to animals??" and wanting to curl up into a pillow and cry.

So, yep, I understand that feeling all too well. My husband has to remind me that most people just don't think about where their food is coming from, the same way WE did not know about it when we used to happily munch away on steak and ice cream and bacon and all that...we. just. didn't. know. :(

And yes, same here...I get mailings all the time from animal charities (PETA, ASPCA, Anti-Vivisection, etc) and my husband will literally take a quick peek at these to see if there are any horrible photos or anything, to sort of "screen" the animal mail for me and toss out anything disturbing so I don't see it. It is very sweet of him. I agreed 100 percent to this arrangement, even if it makes me feel like a wuss, which I am! ;)

Anyhoo, hang in there, think positive things and know that the world is slowly but surely changing in the right direction for the animals...I see wonderful updates on this in my vegan magazine subscription, VegNews and things are getting better for the animals, believe it. :)

And I try to remember that there are a LOT of compassionate and kind people out there working their butts off to help animals, whether it is rat rescue folks, ASPCA people rescuing doggies out of puppy mills, people trying hard to change the factory farming laws, vegan activists, and so many more out there, doing so much to help animals and doing things that I just would not have the stomach for. So I salute them too, and thank the animal gods for them.

Leaving my animal pamphlet trail around the towns and cities here is only a very small contribution of mine to help, but I guess every little bit helps. I wish I had the stomach and the mindset to do more.


Think of the positives and stay strong and keep a smile going...and remember you are not alone. Next time I have a sad moment, I will think of you and draw strength from my U.K buddy, and vice versa, okay? It's a plan! :cool2:
 
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I totally feel your sadness. I was doing dream analysis yesterday and I stupidly looked up "chasing and catching rats" as a rat owner its a nightmare I have having my babies all loose and running all over but of course dream analysis says negative things like you are chasing after someone who wronged you or that you feel like you're surrounded by disease or disgust with something.
Or I love my bubs and I'm afraid of losing them.
 
Aww, Sterling. I like the last theory best...you just love your bubs so much and you are afraid of losing them. That sounds about right. :lovestruck:

I can't think of any loving rat parent that has not had those scary thoughts before about losing our furry bubs!
 
I also meant to add I've unfriended people in real life over grotesque photos they've sent me. A while back a photo went around of a large black rat caught on a trap and one friends wife sent it to me...doesn't this look like your one big boy? Lol
Oh HAHAH so f*n funny! Just like wth? Thats not funny, I don't wanna see it and I especially don't want it compared to one of my babies!
 
Oh that is just freaking great...so funny. Not.

I wonder how that person would feel if someone sent her a photo of a dead child in a war torn country or from a crime scene and said, "Hey, this dead kid looks like your little Timmy/Jenny, ha ha." Yeah, that would be a riot. :cry:

Frankly, all of these things you guys have been telling me about "friends" and people sending you horrible photos or telling bad jokes about rats is really stunning.

My husband and I have had rats since about 2007 and in all that time, I cannot remember anyone I know ever making a bad joke or sending me a nasty photo or anything about rats. Every comment we have ever received from friends or family have always been curious questions or kind remarks about how cute our ratties are.

Sometimes, there is a little innocent "fear" or tentativeness from people, but they are the curious ones who ask questions like, "do they bite?" but not in a mean way, just curious. I normally just give them loads of good information on rats, and they end up saying things like, "Wow, I did not know that about rats, how neat!" and that kind of thing. That is it. No rude comments or anything, ever.

So I am actually in shock at some of the things people have said to you or made cruel jokes about concerning your rats. Now I am wondering...do I live in an area where people are really cool about rats or what is it? It is puzzling!

Whatever it is, I am thankful for it, because I think I would explode with fury if anyone I knew ever made a horrible or mean remark or joke about my babies.
 
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I'm not sure to be honest, it might be the age group too. I'm 21 so most of my friends are around 20-25 so maturity isn't TOO high for most of these people. I know I've seen a lot of stigma about rats just from browsing at a pet store where I saw a mom and her little daughter. The daughter thought the baby rats were adorable and the mother rudely pulled her away and scolded her. Saying that the rats had diseases and were gross. I felt so awful /: to know that some people raise their kids like this. Of course, I did have a parent who was deathly afraid of rodents try to make sure her kids didn't grow up like she did when she bought them a hamster for a family pet.

So, I'm not totally sure about that. Not a lot of my 'friends' understand how to properly care for animals. The two people I am 'friends' with that DO own rats don't exactly take great care of them and I can't really talk to them about rats either. Since I don't want to offend them and scare them off from possibly not caring properly for their rats even more so. According to them I spoil my rats, by giving them a huge cage, feeding them oxbow, letting them free range, and feeding them veggies every night/second night.
 
Wow, that is so telling, that your friends who have rats think you "spoil" them by doing all the things that should be a given with pet rats. God knows how your friends with rats treat their babies. Maybe I don't want to know. :(

This makes it sound like someone saying, "Oh my friend spoils her dog...she gives him fresh water every day and feeds him good dog food and takes him for walks." You know? :(

It could be a maturity thing, as you suggested? My husband and I are in our late 40's and we do not know anyone who is younger than this age group (except for you wonderful folks here on the rat forum of course!), so we are not around any 20 or even 30 somethings.

I just thought that maybe younger people in their 20s were more hip (and kinder) to rats than older people who might come from an older generation that are not used to the concept of pet rats, but maybe I was wrong!

Now that I think of it, almost all the friends we have are musicians since my husband is a professional drummer...it seems like artsy type people like musicians, etc, tend to be very cool about "alternative" pets, so to speak. Very laid back and friendly people, so that might account for it. We are definitely not the average type "white picket fence, 2.5 kids, golf on Sundays" type of people, ha ha.

We also live in a suburb of Seattle and there tend to be a lot of progressive thinking animal lovers in this neck of the woods. That might also account for it a bit? Maybe it is just a mix of all of the above. Whatever the case, I am grateful for it!
 
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No, :( I think it would be best for you not to know how they treat their fur babies. I could go on for hours about it but probably best not to leave it on the public internet. It upsets and angers me sometimes that my fiance gets to hear all about my rants on how they care for their animals. I absolutely understand what you mean, with the comparison of the care for a dog to a rat. /: I have never seen what I did was spoiling, after learning and researching proper care for my ratties. I just do what's best for them, I guess some people just see bare minimum as acceptable.

Maybe, I'm an art student so most people I interact with are artsy sort of people. Granted the rat owner friends are also artsy people but I guess it doesnt make them the best pet owners. Most of my friends, even the one who tell me insensitive jokes, are okay with the idea of owning rats. I just think it's a combination of how they were raised, generally I see people putting rodents, fish or birds lumped into a category as lower priority compared to a dog or a cat. (Maybe because they dont live as long, are seen as prey usually or are less expensive?) They will never truly understand the love that can come from a rat until they've experienced it themselves, but sometimes I fear they still wouldn't get it. I find kind and accepting doesn't always go hand in hand with responsible pet ownership. Especially with the younger crowd, no offence to my age group.
 
I'm right in between with my friend/age base (mid 20s-early 40s). Don't have many good friends. I have my bestfriend Mimi and she has 3 beauties and she is my rats godmother. We can talk for hours about them. But generally as a whole people have just lumped them into a category of "vermin" like bats, mice, ants etc. Like my friend's wife who I don't want to see at all. She wouldn't even hear one story about how rats are sweet. She had made her mind up and that was that.
Even my fiance is guilty of this when we first got them. He said "Who would want pests as pets". But he said go for it and I let Peach do all the "hard work" she whipped daddy into a rat lovin guy in only a few short days.
Now he's the worst for "spoiling" them.
Generally people want to see them, more so because they have an image of what my "rat rooms" look like and are surprised when its clean and smells fine and how cute and affectionate they are when I open the cages.
I even managed to break an old coworker who has worked in the pet industry for yeeeaarrs of some of her own stigmas. She sees scared little rat babies. She never sees the cared for family member rat. So when she was over to help with my rabbits I took her in and she kept worrying about them leaping out of the cage. I was like, only to jump onto me to cuddle. Unlike the frightened little ones in the store that leap out to run for some kind of freedom and security these ones feel I am the security.
I let Odin climb over to her from his cage. He's what I call my mind changer. And he gave her a kiss and checked out her hair. She was like "Ok he's pretty cute and more affectionate then I would ever have thought." She said he was more willing to say hi as a small prey animal then some peoples dogs are as pack animals.

I try to have anyone who comes in my house meet them. Can change one view and then the positivity comes out when they cross another rat. They have a better understanding of the actual nature of these animals.
I still have people who come over regularly that prefer I keep the rats in their cages while they are there but I tell them, if you're here on their time and its their free range time guess who is first on my list to make happy??? Or to "spoil"
I've learned to shrug off the ignorance and try once to change each persons mind. If they won't respond then they lower themselves on my list of people who I want to associate with.
 
Vladina said:
Aww, Clairey, that sounds like a great idea. :)

Next time I get in a sad way, I will try to draw strength from my cyber sister Clairey and stay strong. Super, I will do that! :)

I cannot watch Earthlings as I have heard others who know me say, "Oh my god, Vlad, that movie will absolutely ruin you emotionally, it is so horrible, please do NOT watch it." and I know that I can never see it or hear anything about it.

I also feel the same symptoms you described when I see something bad related to animals...panicky, fast heartbeat, mouth goes dry, sinking feeling in my stomach, a lump rising in my throat and that feeling of, "how can people possibly do this to animals??" and wanting to curl up into a pillow and cry.

So, yep, I understand that feeling all too well. My husband has to remind me that most people just don't think about where their food is coming from, the same way WE did not know about it when we used to happily munch away on steak and ice cream and bacon and all that...we. just. didn't. know. :(

And yes, same here...I get mailings all the time from animal charities (PETA, ASPCA, Anti-Vivisection, etc) and my husband will literally take a quick peek at these to see if there are any horrible photos or anything, to sort of "screen" the animal mail for me and toss out anything disturbing so I don't see it. It is very sweet of him. I agreed 100 percent to this arrangement, even if it makes me feel like a wuss, which I am! ;)

Anyhoo, hang in there, think positive things and know that the world is slowly but surely changing in the right direction for the animals...I see wonderful updates on this in my vegan magazine subscription, VegNews and things are getting better for the animals, believe it. :)

And I try to remember that there are a LOT of compassionate and kind people out there working their butts off to help animals, whether it is rat rescue folks, ASPCA people rescuing doggies out of puppy mills, people trying hard to change the factory farming laws, vegan activists, and so many more out there, doing so much to help animals and doing things that I just would not have the stomach for. So I salute them too, and thank the animal gods for them.

Leaving my animal pamphlet trail around the towns and cities here is only a very small contribution of mine to help, but I guess every little bit helps. I wish I had the stomach and the mindset to do more.


Think of the positives and stay strong and keep a smile going...and remember you are not alone. Next time I have a sad moment, I will think of you and draw strength from my U.K buddy, and vice versa, okay? It's a plan! :cool2:
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Oh Vladlina, that's about one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me xx Next time you feel that panicky feeling and you feel overwhelmed with sadness, just imagine my hand upon your shoulder telling you that you're never alone in this and I walk this journey with you everytime. I will remember your kind words in difficult moments, thank you so much! It makes me smile from ear to ear that you have an amazing hubby to stand guard against your heart. He sounds like a wonderful man and I hope so much that I too find an amazing partner to protect me like that one day!
 
Claireybell2477 said:
Oh Vladlina, that's about one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me xx Next time you feel that panicky feeling and you feel overwhelmed with sadness, just imagine my hand upon your shoulder telling you that you're never alone in this and I walk this journey with you everytime. I will remember your kind words in difficult moments, thank you so much! It makes me smile from ear to ear that you have an amazing hubby to stand guard against your heart. He sounds like a wonderful man and I hope so much that I too find an amazing partner to protect me like that one day!
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Aww, thanks Claireybell! I think that sounds like a great plan for us! We can stay strong this way, I think! A super "arrangement"! :hugs:

And thank you so much for your kind words about my husband. I read to him what you said and he did the "aww, shucks" thing and smiled. :) He IS amazing, and the kindest, most gentle and thoughtful rat daddy in the world. It melts my heart the way he is with animals.:heart:

(That was of course a mandatory character trait of his when I met him...is he kind to animals? Yes, very! Okay! Ha ha)

Yes indeed, think of me when you have a sad moment or feel despair. I will send out happy vibes to you, from Seattle to the U.K. and vice versa, no problem! :hello2
 
Sterling, as I already knew, and especially after this post, you are awesome, simply awesome! I love your post and I wanted to stand up and cheer when you said,

"I still have people who come over regularly that prefer I keep the rats in their cages while they are there but I tell them, if you're here on their time and its their free range time guess who is first on my list to make happy???

YES! Totally! Hey, same goes for me, and most people on this forum I think! My babies come first, always. Other people, guests at the house, anyone who comes over...they are second. Always. Good for you! I love it. :D This is how it should be! :madeday:

And yes, I agree...when people are exposed to the charms and sweetness of rats, it is the best thing...the ignorance blows away and they can be charmed so quickly...rats are the best ambassadors.

If someone is so stubborn with their prejudices that they flat out refuse to entertain the idea of opening their eyes to the truth and beautiful souls of rats, then forget those people (like that ignoramus wife of your friend). Anyone who wants to hang on to hate or bias for no reason, they are a waste of my time and my rats' time. I am sure you agree. ;)
 
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