I'm so sorry to read this but I know you have tried and done wonderfully to help this sweet man get the most out of his time here. What helps me near the end is to simply realize that my heart is telling me it might be time, so I spoil them if they will let me, and think of the appointment as our last chance. While I know I will most likely be losing my wee one, I also know that I will ask the vet their opinion, ask the vet if I am overlooking something or if they feel we still should try something, and most importantly, I ask them what they would do if it was their own pet. Most times my heart knows best, but every now and then the vet will see something that you didn't, and at least you will know that you still gave your baby one final shot. I think many of us need that last reassurance, that we know in our heart that we would have kept fighting if it was the right thing to do. Ultimately, each decision we make is with their best interests at heart, and this one will be no different. We simply have to love them right up until the point where we know loving them means helping them when they need it most.
Get as much time in with your boy as you can and follow your heart on the matter. For my own, I like to lay with them if they'll let me, to soak up every last drop of them and shower them with love, to offer them any favorite foods if I can. If they are in condition for it, I bring their buddies in the carrier with them as I like to know they had their companions right until the end. If not, and if they are in condition for it, I simply wrap them in a blanket and hold them all the way to the vet. I love them and tell them how strong they have been, and that they wont have to do it much longer if they can't. I tell them that if there is a fighting chance to be had and it's the right decision, that I will still fight for them if it appears they still want to. & if it does come down to it being his time, and if your vet allows and you are comfortable with it, I always choose to be with mine for each step. It's hard, but I want to know they had someone familiar with them holding them.
The choice of what to do afterwards, if it comes to that, is purely personal. We have a garden on our property where we bury ours. Others find more closure in cremation. I think for most it's simply whatever act brings us the most peace. Personally, I feel these wee ones have souls every bit as real and important as our own, and I just cannot believe that all of that energy disappears. I feel that they are out there, just beyond what we can touch or see, and I believe they are free from the burdens they carried in their life. I feel like they can watch over us, still see their buddies, and I feel like they have other souls there ready to usher them in when they arrive. I've no idea if it's true, but that's what I feel. I think they come here to teach us things. Some teach us how to fight for them, some teach us how not to fight for them, but they each teach us the hardest lesson, how to say goodbye. But I can tell you that after every loss, no matter how hard or unexpected, they have always left me with the fondest of memories to get me by, and eventually more smiles than tears when thinking back upon them. Bonds like that can't be broken, in my opinion. One of the best partings that always stays with me and that I keep dear to my heart...
"I'll catch up with you later". <3
I keep all their remains in little individual wooden boxes with their names painted on with gold paint. All of their boxes are stored in a nice trunk. That way when I move, I won't have to leave their remains behind in the ground, and when I eventually pass on, I can have their boxes buried with me.
