Coping with loss

Pepper_rat

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May 9, 2020
Messages
120
Location
New York
Pepper is my oldest rat and my best friend. I have never met an animal like her and I don’t think I ever will again. She is a year and 11 months and I’m so happy that I’ve gotten this much time with her but I’m so scared to loose her. I’ve lost rats before and it always hurts but pepper is different. She is my heart rat and I dont know how I’m going to handle her death. We have such an amazing bond that I don’t think I will ever find again. She follows me around, cuddles in my lap, gives me kisses on my fingers and nose, and when she was younger we used to do tricks and agility together. Most people in my life don’t understand how much she means to me. I just don’t know how I’m going to handle loosing her and I know that it’s coming soon. I hoped you all would understand better than most people because you’ve met rats and seen what beautiful and kind creatures they are. Does anyone have any advice for coping with the loss of a heart rat? Thank you.
move added pictures of my girl ❤️
 

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lilspaz68

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I was absolutely terrified to lose my special needs girl Pele and was honestly devastated but in time you start to remember all the good things instead of just the sadness of their loss. Another important thing to remember is you can have many very special rats in your life. Just because you have Pepper doesn't mean you cannot have another just as special or special in a different way. Sometimes these rats are the ones that allow us to love and care and understand more deeply than before. ((Hugs))
 

Pepper_rat

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Joined
May 9, 2020
Messages
120
Location
New York
I was absolutely terrified to lose my special needs girl Pele and was honestly devastated but in time you start to remember all the good things instead of just the sadness of their loss. Another important thing to remember is you can have many very special rats in your life. Just because you have Pepper doesn't mean you cannot have another just as special or special in a different way. Sometimes these rats are the ones that allow us to love and care and understand more deeply than before. ((Hugs))
Thank you. This helped a lot. This might sound crazy but it helps me to imagine that there’s a ratty heaven up there and all my girls are happy and healthy, waiting for me. She is the rat that made me fall in love with rats and I promised her that I would keep loving and rescuing rats until I join her in ratty heaven ❤️
 

Dena

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Joined
Nov 13, 2018
Messages
345
Location
Texas
My FIRST heart rat was named pepper. He was a black Dumbo, and had the most playful, adorable personality. I would suggest that you video her as much as possible, take many pics, and just spend as much time as you possibly can with her. When she goes, just know that she never actually leaves you. She's entwined in your heart, and I like to imagine mine are actually still there. My kids made me a shadow box frame with pepper's picture where he's kissing my nose, the hair I saved from him (yeah kinda weird I know) and a little clay figure of him that my daughter made. My son also had an artist make a clay figurine that has his exact markings, and is in a stance he stood in often. They are both very special to me. Then I got a stuffed ikea rat (they no longer sell them) that I sleep with in my bed every night. The first night I slept with it, shortly after I fell asleep, I had a weird sensation that pepper had actually crawled in my hand and curled up to sleep. I could feel and smell his fur. It was that real. I woke up crying, but I took it as his way of saying he's still with me.

Since his death, I've had a couple of heart rats. When they passed, it was difficult, but I know they are all together waiting for me. I now have Figgy, who looks EXACTLY LIKE pepper, but top eared. Total different personality. He is actually, strangely, more in tuned with me. He is just as obsessed with me as I am him. When he passes, I plan to get him cremated, and have his ashes put in a tiny box on a necklace and sealed shut. And have some put in tattoo ink and a tattoo of my heart rats. Possibly near my heart.

Just take comfort in knowing she's never really gone, and there WILL be more. Not to replace her, but to help fill the hole left for a little bit.....
 

Pepper_rat

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Joined
May 9, 2020
Messages
120
Location
New York
My FIRST heart rat was named pepper. He was a black Dumbo, and had the most playful, adorable personality. I would suggest that you video her as much as possible, take many pics, and just spend as much time as you possibly can with her. When she goes, just know that she never actually leaves you. She's entwined in your heart, and I like to imagine mine are actually still there. My kids made me a shadow box frame with pepper's picture where he's kissing my nose, the hair I saved from him (yeah kinda weird I know) and a little clay figure of him that my daughter made. My son also had an artist make a clay figurine that has his exact markings, and is in a stance he stood in often. They are both very special to me. Then I got a stuffed ikea rat (they no longer sell them) that I sleep with in my bed every night. The first night I slept with it, shortly after I fell asleep, I had a weird sensation that pepper had actually crawled in my hand and curled up to sleep. I could feel and smell his fur. It was that real. I woke up crying, but I took it as his way of saying he's still with me.

Since his death, I've had a couple of heart rats. When they passed, it was difficult, but I know they are all together waiting for me. I now have Figgy, who looks EXACTLY LIKE pepper, but top eared. Total different personality. He is actually, strangely, more in tuned with me. He is just as obsessed with me as I am him. When he passes, I plan to get him cremated, and have his ashes put in a tiny box on a necklace and sealed shut. And have some put in tattoo ink and a tattoo of my heart rats. Possibly near my heart.

Just take comfort in knowing she's never really gone, and there WILL be more. Not to replace her, but to help fill the hole left for a little bit.....
Thank you. This helps a lot. I’ve asked my boyfriend to get a stuffed animal replica of Pepper so I can cuddle it ❤️
 

Dena

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Joined
Nov 13, 2018
Messages
345
Location
Texas
I take my pepper ikea rat EVERYWHERE I travel to. I used to take the figurine as well, but was worried something could happen to it. I've learned to let go of at least a little bit. It helps when you have one that is currently so deeply woven around your heart too. Figgy "chews gum" (tongue rolling, but looks like rapid chewing) when I tell him I love him. And he always has to run up and kiss me ( stands up with nose in air until I bump my lip on his nose) constantly during playtime. If I somehow ignore him or don't realize he's trying to kiss me, he will climb me and get my attention.
 

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