16 year old sister

[Steph]

So my mom is always at her bf's and my 16 year old sister is always here with her bf... And mom goes away with her's for weekends. And then my sister tells me her bf is spending the night and mom said he wasn't allowed to... And it puts me in the awkward spot of having to parent my little sister or keep the peace between her and I... And then tonight they were in the bathroom when I got home and I asked of they were almost done whatever they were doing and my sister said no THEY were just getting ready to shower...
I don't know what to do... It's been so peaceful not fighting with my sister everyday... But I don't know what to do....

 

[jorats]

Wow. Your mom has no right to put you in this position. I think it's time you tell mom to come home.

 

[Joanne]

Yep, this is something your mom needs to deal with, not you. Maybe you could suggest that your mom come home unexpectantly late one evening. It's hard to deny something when you're caught in flagrante delicto...

 

[2Rats]

Adult supervision is needed. I would advise also to tell mom she is needed at home by her children. Tell her what's going on. If your sister gets mad - oh well. Better than getting pregnant.

 

[Aida]

It's a really sensitive issue. Your sister is 16, and although that's young, let's be honest here, girls these days get sexually active, or at least sexually curious with their boyfriends, even younger than that. Heck, the summer I turned 16, I snuck my boyfriend over for a week to a summer house I was staying in with my sister. Yes, we slept in the same bed. He had been my boyfriend of 3 years then, and we are still together. Nothing bad happened then or later because of that situation.


You sound like a very caring sibling, but you should remember, it is not you who should have to approach this. It is a highly personal matter that has to do with your sister and your sister alone. If she has decided to be sexual with her boyfriend, then the cat is kind of out of the bag, sorry, and then only thing your parents can do now is make sure she has access to protection. I know a lot of people will disagree with this, but your mom should just have a conversation with her, a heart-to-heart one, and then take her to a clinic to get pills. If kids want to have sex, they will. I see this in my friends, I did it myself. Punishing her for it, trying to keep her away from her partner, etc. won't fix anything now.