Family troubles...

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I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time with your sister. She obviously believes she can't or won't be held accountable for her actions. Unfortunately, this situation probably won't improve on its own. Your sister needs some kind of intervention to teach her that physical and emotional abuse of others is not acceptable. To be honest, allowing her to continue like this isn't fair to her either as she will quickly find out that society will not tolerate her antics or protect her from punishment the way your family has. In a very real sense, if your sister continues down this path of entitlement, she will probably have a very rough life ahead of her.

I don't think you, or anyone for that matter, should have to endure this abuse just because she's an immediate family member. There are laws in place to protect you and maybe it's time to use them - for yourself and for her.

KMG365 said:

I don't think you, or anyone for that matter, should have to endure this abuse just because she's an immediate family member.

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I agree 100% there. I understand that you want to help your mom, and potentially protect her from your sister - but (i can't think of a more apt way of saying it...but) this isn't your responsibility. I think that it's great that you want to form a supportive unit with your mom during this difficult time, but it would be a tremendous amount of stress to place on yourself as protector of your family.
I know that's easy to say, and alot more difficult to do - or even begin to tease apart the difference between assuming that responsibility and being there as a support for your mom.... but its not fair for yourself to try and fix this and protect your mom all on your own

I wish i had something more to say - or some magic fix to this entire thing...

I think its good that you're talking about it, you can totally get support from all of us here even if there are no simple words to fix the situation. :hugs: Stay strong and know we're here to listen if you need us

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Bamboo said:

As for intervening: I have no idea what to do. Neither do my parents as I discovered the night she hit my dad. What do we do? I honestly have no idea what to do in this situation.

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Try casually contacting some of the professional organizations in your area, like abuse support groups, and see what they have to say. Maybe they can steer you in the right direction. I wouldn't give out any personally identifiable information at this point or make any commitments. Keep all of your options open. Hopefully, you and your family will be able to agree on a path once you know what's actually out there to help you in this situation.

If your mom is the sort to not just "shrug it off", maybe talk to her privately about it being a serious problem, and the two of you can pursue some sort of counselling together.

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. My sister in law has always had issues, you know when a kid has been bad and is sent to their room, sometimes they bang on the door but after a while it would stop. Not Crystal, she would carry on and on. They knew at age 4 there was something wrong. But by age 8 my mother in law started seeking the doctor and he would put it off. Now she's 21 and nothing can be done unless she wants to help herself.

I would suggest seeking help because I truely think your sister needs it whether she likes it or not. Do it before she's 18 because by then it's all in her hands. It's not easy dealing with family when there are issues like this. You and your family don't deserve this and it's not right. :hugs:

My sister is very similar just not to that degree.. but quite close. My sister is bipolar, from what you have wrote it is a possibility she may have maybe a slight psychological disorder/mood disorder and the spoiling would have added to this. I know with my sister, she is happy one moment and then a minute later she is crying or screaming and fighting with us for the stupidest things. I have gotten in intense physical fights with my sister, bad ones and she used to bite me so hard she would rip skin. From how aggressive and stubbern she sounds, she will not get better on her own, I think there may be a deeper cause like low self esteem or disoorder etc making her lash out, I think she needs a counsoler or a psycholigist.

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There is something else going on with your sister. I'd get her to a therapist asap. Get her properly diagnosed and hopefully on the road to getting better. First step, tell your mom to talk to her family doctor.

Yep, what Jo said is exactly what I was thinking as I read the post...

You need to find whatever they call behavioral health services in Canada. =) David used to work psych services and this is not uncommon - but its better to start with getting help, rather than waiting until it gets to bad you have to call juvie/the cops. Granted, that will get help too, but its a lot messier.

That's not normal for 14. I agree with Jo/Scythe.

Since your sister has been targetting you for years, I think that the situation will just get worse if you move home.
Visit, support your mom as much as possible but I would suggest that you not move home.
You need to take good care of yourself or you will not be able to help your mom.

I agree with what others have said .... your mother needs to speak to your family doctor about the situation asap and your sister needs to be seen by your family doctor. Your doctor should be able to check for physical issues and make referrals to specialists - medical and psychological. The doctor should be able to suggest resources in the community that may be of help to your family.

Something needs to be done now. Your sister needs help, and your family likely needs counscelling as well. If your parents wait much longer your sister may seriously injure someone and then it will be up to the legal system.

jorats said:

There is something else going on with your sister. I'd get her to a therapist asap. Get her properly diagnosed and hopefully on the road to getting better. First step, tell your mom to talk to her family doctor.

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:yeah: This is all that really needs saying.