So last Friday we had to have Nina pts due to her cancer spreading much faster than we thought and within minutes after burying her I got a call that my uncle had just passed away so had to pack up and head to where he lived which is 3hrs away. I had to leave the fuzzies under the care of my 12 yr old because my inlaws are scared of them. Long story short the visit was stressful and lots of bickering and my uncles almost wasn't buried because noone wanted to pay for his funeral or plot.. But it got done and we are back home now were I discovered one of the baby girls is missing the tip of her finger which is quite red and swollen and another girl has what I believe is a mammary tumor growing under her front arm. We need more food and bedding and we are just maxed out financially so gonna see what I can squeeze out of us for food and bedding but the medical stuff sadly there is no way to miracle that. I can't even grieve right now because there is no time and its just adding stress to the stress of having all these babies that I feel I can't provide for right now. I quite honestly just want to scream right now I am so frustrated! I've been trying so hard to adopt them out but there are just no homes around our area I just don't know anymore and I'm sure this feeling will pass but I just feel stuck right now and feel like I'm letting then down and its not fair to them.. I've failed them!